So. Angel knocks Darla up. Normally I dislike pregnancy and baby storylines because they're handled so stupidly, but this was like a sick rollercoaster of awesome. And I thought it was a really nice way to close out Darla's journey on the show, giving the character so much growth and the actress so much to do. That's one of my favorite things about Joss shows - those actors must have such a grand time taking these characters on the huge, varied, complex journeys they get to go on.
Darla: Angel, I can't have this baby.
Angel: What?
Darla: I can't let it out. I - I can't.
Angel: Okay, not sure you have a lot of choice in the matter.
Darla: I know. It wants to come out. I can feel it. It's ready. It's just - I can't let it. I can't let it because... because...
Angel: You love it.
Darla: Completely. I love it completely. I - I - I don't think I've ever loved anything as much as this life that's inside of me.
Darla: What do I have to offer a child, a human child, besides ugly death? You know it's true.
Angel: No. What I do know is that you love this baby, our baby. You've bonded with it. You've spent nine months carrying it, nourishing it...
Darla: No. No, I haven't been nourishing it. I haven't given this baby a thing. I'm dead. It's been nourishing me. These feelings that I'm having, they're not mine. They're coming from it.
Angel: You don't know that.
Darla: Of course I do! We both do. Angel, I don't have a soul. It does. And right now that soul is inside of me but soon it won't be and then -
Angel: Darla -
Darla: I won't be able to love it. I won't even be able to remember that I loved it. (starts to cry) I want to remember.
Angel: You're going to be okay.
Darla: No. No, I don't think so. Once he's gone, I won't be okay. I won't be okay at all. I don't know what I'll be. Angel... Our baby is gonna die right here in this alley. You died in an alley, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Darla: I want to say I'm sorry. I want to say it and mean it, but - I can't. Aren't you going to tell me it's okay?
Angel: No.
Darla: No? It's really not, is it? We did so many terrible things together. So much destruction, so much pain. We can't make up for any of it. You know that, don't you?
Angel: (after a pause) Yeah.
Darla: This child, Angel - it's the one good thing we ever did. (Angel takes her hand between his.) The only good thing. (He presses her hand to his mouth.) You make sure to tell him that.
(Darla grasps a splinter of wood and buries it in her chest; she turns to dust. When Darla was there is now a baby, crying.)
Again, normally I am not into baby plots, especially when it comes to mystical pregnancies, especially when it gets all sacred about children and mothers, blah blah. Except I am also a huge sucker for parent/child relationships in fiction. Cannot be helped. But not ever woman is cut out to be a mother and having an unplanned, unwanted baby is not always going to change her mind; shows too often forget that.
That said, I fucking love this arc and these episodes. The entire idea of the baby having a soul and that soul affecting Darla - making her love it, allowing her to finally truly experience love. That's amazing. I've been saying this all week, but Julie Benz is ultimately the one that makes it work. She sells it. When she says, "I love it. I love it completely," it's so utterly heartbreaking. She won't even be able to remember that she loved it. THEY SHARE A SOUL. Gaaah.
Lolz, I love that Cordy tries to pat Darla's head when she shows up and be all loving to the pregnant lady but Darla is just like BITCH WHY DID YOU TOUCH ME. That says something sweet about Cordy, because even though she's obviously jello about Darla and Angel sleeping together, at no point does she blame Darla for this. Instead she gets a little prickly at Angel and becomes extra gracious towards Darla. It's cute, and it doesn't happen a lot with ladies in romantic-adjacent plots.
Also! When Darla's water breaks in Angel's car and no one wants to sit in the back seat with her! Cutest ever!
Onto grownup!Connor!
Connor: You can't be my mother. My mother's dead.
Darla: And I'll always be a part of you. You shared your soul with me once when you were growing inside of me. When I'd lost my own. I'd never felt so close to any living thing as I did to my beautiful boy.
Connor: Why did you leave me? Did you hate me that much?
Darla: Baby, no. I wanted to be with you more than anything.
Connor: You killed yourself. I wasn't even born yet. And you -
Darla: - did what I had to. My life for yours. I did so many terrible things, Connor, so much destruction, so much pain. You were the only good thing I ever did. The only good thing. I'd die every day for the rest of eternity for you.
Look at baby Peter Campbell! I adore that fucker so damn much.
Basically: Cordy is evil and pregnant, Connor has to sacrifice an innocent girl for her, and The Powers That Be send him a vision of Darla to convince him not to.
The idea of Darla as Connor's Angel on His Shoulder is interesting, because she's hardly an angelic figure. It follows the inversion of the season, though, with Cordelia (heretofore a Good Hat of epic proportions) as the villain. And Connor is torn between his two mother-figures: Darla, his actual mother, and Cordy, the woman who practically was his mother (but who he slept with, ew, why).
Darla and Connor's relationship doesn't get very much attention because she's, you know, dead, but I think it's clearly present even if it's unspoken. The person they cast to play Angel's son looks nothing like Angel - he certainly looks more like Darla with his soft features, his light eyes. She's present in him even if she's not spoken of. It was a nice bit of casting.
This has been so fun for me! I'm super sad my week of Darla is over! Can't wait to give it another go, tbh.
Everything so far:
Old Timey Flashback Darla
Darla and Angel in "Dear Boy"
Fanmix: the preludes and the nocturnes
Human Darla
Darla Revamped