to burn in here with me
Dan/Blair. 5073 words. R/NC-17.
Sequel to I want someone badly. Season 2 AU.
Summary: They're not very careful.
Note: Girl, I feel terrible, because this is not at all the fic I intended to write for you and I really wanted to write this other thing, but it ended up too ambitious for me to get done in time. Soo, in lieu of that, porn and fluff. AND EVEN SO I WAS LATE BY LIKE A WEEK. I AM TERRIBLE. I hope you enjoy it anyway!
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Dan is mentally running through verb conjugations on the way to Italian when a hand reaches out, seemingly from nowhere, and drags him forcibly into a closet he hadn't even known was there.
"God, Humphrey," Blair says, "I've been waiting for you to come down this stupid hallway forever."
It figures, he thinks absently, that a janitor's closet at Constance Billard's School for Girls is nicer than any janitor's closet has any right to be.
"Stalking me?" he asks, dropping his bag to the ground.
She bites her lip. "Laying in wait."
"Setting traps," Dan says, stepping closer.
Her smile is full of that Blair Waldorf brand of faux-sweetness. She reaches for his tie to pull him in. "Hunting."
It's a real wonder that no one's found out yet. They're not very careful.
Dan lowers his head to kiss her neck first, breathing in that perfume of hers that he always finds on his clothes later. He tugs her collar aside – high, lacy, puritanical – and presses his mouth to one of the newer little bruises, flushed darker than the other yellowing ones dotting her throat. He leans into her, pressing her back against the wall, and waits for her hands to slide into his hair.
"You have a problem," Blair says, somewhere between annoyed and enjoying it. "I'm running out of neckwear options."
"Sorry," Dan mutters insincerely. He worries the spot with his teeth and almost smiles when he feels the answering tug on his hair.
"You haven't kissed me yet," she says.
"Because you're too demanding." He runs his hands up the backs of her thighs, finding the seam of her stockings with his fingertips. Her legs part slightly and he leans in closer still, slouching a little so he can fit their hips together.
Blair yanks sharply on his hair, pulling him away from her neck. "Kiss me, Humphrey," she demands.
He tilts his head, nudging his nose against hers, waiting until her eyes flutter closed to press the briefest, lightest kiss to her mouth. Blair frowns, eyes still shut, face scrunching up; it makes Dan laugh a little and then he kisses her properly, for real.
They don't have long. Fifteen minutes if they're lucky, and if they don't mind turning up late to class, fumbling excuses. Sleeping with Blair is proving to be bad for Dan's GPA; he thinks he's missed more class in the last three months than in his entire academic career. He used to be one of those kids who got awards for attendance.
Now he's making out with a girl who hates him in a school closet in the middle of the day. He's not sure if that's more or less sad, really.
Dan still doesn't know how to get used to kissing Blair. There's a kind of unyielding rush to her kisses, airless and unceasing; she leaves him short of breath. It's kiss after kiss after kiss, biting his lip, licking into his mouth. She trails kisses down his throat, hot and wet, and then back up, again, again. Dan buries his hand in her hair and tries to kiss back just as unrelentingly. It's near impossible; she's a force to be reckoned with in every sense.
Dan thinks he could kiss her for ages.
Blair moans a little against his mouth, hand knotting around his tie. "I don't give you enough credit," she murmurs, an absent thought. Dan doesn't even have time to register his surprise before she's shoving hard, turning them and slamming his back against the wall.
Blair pushes his blazer off roughly and lays it at their feet before pulling his shirt untucked. She slides her hands underneath, cool fingers on his warm skin.
"Humphrey?" She strokes his chest, pushing the shirt up. There is the slight bite of nails. "When's your birthday?"
"September," Dan says, confused. He tries to kiss her again but she moves just out of reach. She shakes her head a little, nose wrinkling, and Dan mirrors the gesture unconsciously. "It's not?"
"No." Blair leans in for a slow kiss, open-mouthed, and then folds to her knees. She looks up at him, all guileless doe eyes. "It's today."
Blair traces over the shape of him through his ill-fitting uniform pants (just god-awful, she says almost every time she takes them off him). Her mouth is all kiss-flushed. He thinks she was wearing lipgloss before because he can still faintly taste it, sticky and vanilla.
She gets his belt open, button open, zipper down; his pants sag a little, catching mid-thigh. Blair presses her mouth against him through the fabric of his boxers, a kind of lingering kiss, and then tugs his underwear out of the way. Dan's breath is trapped somewhere in his throat. It's quiet as she wraps a hand around him, biting her bottom lip with a determined look on her face.
"Any day now," Dan breathes. The joke doesn't land, tone all wrong.
"Do you want me to just leave you here?" she half-threatens, but she still leans in. She closes her mouth over him, sucking lightly, and then pulls off. She looks up. "Do you?"
Dan shakes his head. He's stilled entirely, watching her. Blair smiles a little and takes him in her mouth again.
He used to be so nervous about touching her when she was going down on him, afraid of tripping one of her countless invisible landmines. Now he ignores scolding about messing up her hair and buries his hands amongst her curls. She's got a dumb headband on, red and shiny, and his thumb brushes across it by accident, startling cool vinyl against her warmth. He pulls her hair, just a little, and is rewarded with the sound she makes low in her throat.
Dan tips his head back, knocking into the wall slightly too hard, and squeezes his eyes shut. He's lightheaded. He's definitely going to miss Italian. Even if he doesn't, he has no faith in his ability to comprehend or answer questions in another language when he can barely remember his own name right now. He's not going to last long at all, not with the way Blair is swallowing around him, the way her tongue presses just there, the way her nails dig into his hipbones. One hand slides up over his stomach, strokes his skin almost soothingly. Dan covers her hand with his, twists their fingers together.
As he gets closer, he pulls her hair again as a warning. It's become their usual signal. But, unexpectedly, Blair doesn't pull back. If anything, she presses closer, taking him in that little bit deeper, and Dan can't help it – he comes in her mouth, a groan trapped in his throat. He feels her swallow.
He can't really attempt standing after that, so Dan slides down the wall until he's sprawled in front of her. Blair watches him with a small smile, hands folded in her lap.
"That was revolting," she says.
She looks a mess, pink-lipped and hair askew. It's going to be so obvious. She'll fix herself up before going back out but it won't make a difference. He'll know. He'll see her in the halls and know what she looked like after. After she sucked him off. He'll see that look in her eyes, naughty and pleased. Like she has a secret.
Which she does. He's her secret.
Dan cups her cheek, runs his thumb over her mouth. She smiles again. "Humphrey," she chides, "Have you forgotten how to say thank-you?"
In answer, Dan leans in and kisses her. He holds her face between both hands, massaging her jaw the tiniest bit, and tastes himself there, somewhere between her teeth and tongue.
"I have to go," Blair murmurs after a moment. "We can't stay in here forever."
Dan nods, sitting back against the wall and watching as Blair puts herself to rights again. She runs her fingers through her hair (shooting a glare his way), touches up her makeup, smoothes her clothes. She looks almost normal again.
"Are you still coming over later?" she asks, standing. "To –" She smiles again. More than anything, he'll never get used to her smiling at him so much. "To run lines?"
"Yeah," Dan says softly.
"He can speak," she teases, holding out a hand to help him up. Blair puts him to rights too, zipping his pants back up and wiping stray lipgloss from the corner of his mouth. She even picks up his blazer for him and dusts it off.
At the door she pauses, surveying Dan with a contemplative look. She runs her hands over her hips and under her skirt, shimmies a little until her panties slide off; she steps out of them and picks them up. They're pink.
Dan is not really processing this whole encounter.
"I'd say you're full of surprises," he says. "But it's both cliché and an understatement."
"Bring them back to me," she says, tucking them into his pocket as she tiptoes up to kiss his cheek. "When you come over." She kisses the spot below his ear and then nips his earlobe. "I'll be thinking of you."
They're really not careful.
They barely make it through the door to her room before they're pulling at clothes eagerly, too impatient for buttons and ties, kissing too much to focus on the task at hand with any kind of thoroughness. They don't even make it onto the bed, landing instead on Blair's scratchy carpet. He expects her to be cross but she only laughs and pulls him into another kiss. Dan's hand dips between her legs, no barrier to prevent him, and calls her a tart even though he's never used that word before in his life, isn't even sure where it came from. It makes her laugh again; she calls him an idiot, voice hitching on a moan.
They wait as long as they can wait, until his fingers slide slippery over her, and then it's fumbling zippers and condoms, the sudden relief of being inside her, finally. It's what he's been waiting for all day. Blair throws her head back with a soft restless moan and Dan wonders again how he never noticed she was beautiful.
He can't help slowing down then. He likes the flush that creeps over her cheeks, the way she grips his shoulders, tucks her knees up against his sides. He likes the way she urges him on, bears down on him, grips his hair so tight it hurts. But he waits to move faster until she's twisting beneath him, until she says his name in that breathy scolding way, an irritated and plaintive Dan.
"Did you think about me?" he asks.
Blair's teeth are at his throat. She kisses his pulse point, messy. "Not once."
"I thought about you," he murmurs. He presses his face into the crook of her neck, leaning hard on his forearm so his free hand can slide between them. He kisses the lovebites he's left all over her neck, the ones she constantly complains about but never stops him from leaving.
Blair moans, offers him a distracted, "Did you?"
Every time he put his hand his pocket he brushed against pink lace and went bright red, forgot whatever he was saying. He couldn't stop thinking about Blair sitting in class with her knees together, demure as anything, and nothing on underneath her skirt.
"All day," he says.
Blair kisses him then, wraps her arms tight around his neck. "You may have crossed my mind," she says.
"Did I?" he half-teases.
Her hips cant upwards. Her heels bite into the backs of his legs. Dan can't keep the rhythm of his hips and his hand going at once, fingers slipping over her clit with uneven strokes, every so often wringing a quiet whimper.
"I could still taste you," Blair murmurs. "After."
Dan groans and covers her mouth with his, kisses her deeply. They trade half-kisses for a while as they move together, unpracticed and rushed as though they've never done this before, both of them hurtling towards something – an end, an apogee.
Quietly, so quietly, Blair says in his ear what seems at first like a stream of nonsense, Dan barely able to listen through his own haze. "It made me so – But I didn't do anything about it because I wanted to wait for you, I couldn't wait to have you –"
Dan kisses her again, stopping her words, because he doesn't know what to do with her saying things like that. It's different, this thread of affection that has begun to creep between them. Dan almost kissed her hello in the hallway a week ago. He was leaning in before he even realized what he was doing and when her eyes widened, he spun away.
She comes first, maybe because she's been waiting longer, and his name leaves her mouth in a gasp. That's another thing – how much he likes his name in her voice.
After, they lay there on their backs side by side, still half-undressed. Dan asks, "Should we really run lines?"
That's the game they play to spend time together; the school production is their perfect excuse. It's easy enough to slip into old roles in front of their friends and, if they seem to enjoy it too much, no one notices. "Are you coming over to rehearse tonight, Humphrey?" Blair would snap, all sharp edges. "Because I cleared a very important engagement from my social calendar just to help you with your painfully stilted line delivery."
Dan would roll his eyes; beside him, Nate laughs. "Yeah, I guess so. It's not like I have, you know, about a million better things to do. Really I'm doing you a favor. You owe me one."
"Well, I just spent ten seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
They'd snipe at each other a few minutes longer. But every day they go back at her place, play pretend for as long as possible but end up fucking, scripts abandoned beside them, Archer and Ellen's love story crumpling under grasping fingers.
Then at school rehearsal everyone wonders why they don't know their lines if they're always practicing. Julian says they have no chemistry.
Next to him, Blair laughs softly. "I suppose one of these days we actually should." She sits up and runs her hands through her hair, which is looking rather rough thanks to the floor. "But not tonight. Now that I'm so wonderfully relaxed," she shoots him a bit of a cheeky grin, "I plan on putting on my pajamas and curling up with The Postman Always Rings Twice." She pauses. "And maybe Double Indemnity. Penelope's ensemble today left me feelings awfully vindictive."
Dan laughs. "Good choices," he says. "Postman's the best."
Blair tilts her head, eyeing him. "You like that movie?"
"Yeah," Dan says, nodding. He sits up too, still feeling rather winded, and reaches for his shirt.
"If…" She purses her lips, thoughtful. "If you wanted, you could…stay and watch with me."
Dan opens his mouth, shuts it. "Uh. Okay."
They don't really do things like this – hang out. Unless he counts the ten to twenty minutes of afterglow (which Dan doesn't) they hardly spent any non-sexual time together. But now they tuck themselves up in her bed, laptop between them, and watch some film noir.
"You're that kind of girl," Dan says. He leans into her, resting his head on her shoulder.
"The kind of girl who kills her husband?" Blair asks, amused.
"Sexy and terrifying," Dan says. He smirks a little. "Good at pretending to be innocent."
She snorts, reaches up to rest a hand on his cheek, eyes on the screen. "You're one of those guys," she tells him. "A real sap."
"There's no way you could get me to off a guy for you."
Blair looks at him then, arching an eyebrow. "Oh really?"
Dan laughs. "Well, let's not test it."
A few hours and one more movie later, he texts Jenny to tell their dad that he's staying at Vanessa's for the night. Then he and Blair leave the safety of her room to go eat, Dorota eyeing him distrustfully. Blair tangles their ankles together under the table.
"My birthday's soon, you know," she says. She curls her fingers under his jaw so he'll lean in for a kiss. "You ought to get me a very good present."
"Oh, should I?" Dan smiles, then catches Dorota glaring and stops.
"You can go," Blair snaps loudly, glancing at Dorota. She sits back and smoothes her napkin over her lap. "Yes you should. Not that you're allowed to come to the party, of course, who would want you there." She slides a look his way that makes him think she's at least fifty percent kidding. "But that night you might have some uses."
Dan laughs, shaking his head, and swallows all his questions about what exactly is happening between them. It's one thing to sleep with her (This is you having a problem and me having a problem and us solving it, together) but it's another thing entirely to watch her smile and feel something in his chest twinge, some kind of nauseous excitement.
That night they go to bed together. Under her sheets, she tucks herself into the circle of his arms and they sleep.
She's got pretty good taste in movies, he thinks.
Dan does end up getting invited to her birthday, but he skips out on it. He'd had this bag ready to go with a change of clothes and candles and it all just began to seem utterly, utterly ridiculous. Blair is not his girlfriend and he is not her boyfriend; they're nothing to each other, they're just strangely sexually compatible.
Blair calls. "I can't believe you blew me off."
"I thought nobody wanted me there," Dan says.
She's silent. He can picture her on the other end, lips a tight line, caught and furious. "That's right," she says. "There wasn't anyone who wanted to see you."
Dan is quiet, then, "If anyone did, though… No one's home, here. Tonight." Jenny is in Hudson, bitter about missing another of Blair's birthday parties; Nate is off making up with his extended family; his dad lied and said he had gallery work, but is in fact on a date. It's just Dan.
"Don't be ridiculous," Blair says, hangs up. Forty minutes later there's a knock at his door.
Dan had been half-anticipating her. He thinks he's starting to learn her cues.
"You weren't missed," she says, pushing past him, "In fact nobody noticed that you weren't there. Except Serena. It wouldn't have even occurred to me if she hadn't said anything."
Dan tenses slightly. Serena's name is one they general avoid. "I figured," he says after a moment. "That no one would care."
Blair faces him, arms crossed. "No one did."
Dan looks at her, her spine straight and expression closed-off. Dan doesn't know what she wants from him. "Come here."
Blair purses her lips. "I hate you, you know."
Dan rolls his eyes. "Come here, would you?"
Pouting, Blair steps forward, tilting her face up for him to kiss her. It makes Dan smile a little. Blair still looks party-ready, made up, her hair swept up with careful carelessness. Her shirt's all ruffles and frills but her back is bare. He puts an arm around her, trails a touch down her spine.
"Nice neck ruff," he says.
"You're an idiot," Blair says. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"
He touches her neck, rests his hand there. "Yes," he says. Blair sighs a little when their lips meet, leans up into the kiss.
"You're the worst," she says softly, reaching up to wipe her lipstick off his bottom lip. "Why didn't you come?"
"I thought you didn't care," Dan murmurs.
"Maybe I do," she says.
"I freaked out a little," Dan admits. "I had this whole thing planned…candles, that kind of…" He shakes his head a little. "Seemed too romantic. I know that's…not our thing."
"No," Blair says slowly, and he thinks she's agreeing until she adds, "It sounds just romantic enough."
They relocate to his room. Dan takes out all the stupid candles and puts them on his bedside tables, on all the cluttered books, and lights them. Blair watches as she takes the pins from her hair. It falls around her shoulders.
He unbuttons Blair's shirt at the base of her spine, presses his mouth to the freckles between her shoulder blades. She lifts the silk away from her body, over her head; she's got nothing underneath it. Together they push her skirt over her hips. Her panties are sheer and black, a bow at the front. He wonders if she put them on expecting he would take them off.
Blair pulls his sweater up and off. She kisses his chest, over his heart. "Don't make me regret telling the truth," she says.
Confused, Dan frowns a little. Her hands drop to the button of his jeans. "About what?"
"That you're not," she tugs his jeans down and pushes him onto the bed, "entirely inconsequential to me."
He sets his hands on her hips, looking up at her. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"
Blair smiles a little. "Yes," she says, "Though you don't deserve it."
Dan pulls her into his lap, hands sliding over her back as they kiss. She cups his face and pressing close, her skin on his warm and soft. He leans back slowly until he hits the bed, Blair leaning over him.
"Aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?" She kisses him briefly before moving down his body, dropping kisses as she goes. She curls her fingers over the waistband of his boxers.
"Happy birthday," he says quietly.
Blair smiles a little as she gets his boxers off, dropping them over the side of the bed. "Those are hideous," she says. "Also I'm still angry with you."
"You've got a strange way of showing it."
"See," Blair says, sitting up and hooking her fingers over the sides of her panties. "You can't even follow conversational cues correctly. What you're supposed to say is, 'How can I make it up to you?'"
Dan is distracted watching her, sitting up to cover her hands with his own as she takes her underwear off. He hadn't known what to do with that other pair of her panties, ended up shoving them underneath his mattress like sixth grade stashed porn. "Oh?"
"Mhm." Blair pushes on his chest so he's lying back again. She leans over him to get the condoms out of the bedside drawer (it still strikes Dan as bizarre that she knows where they are, though of course she would, she put them there). "And then I tell you what I want you to do to me."
Dan leans in again to kiss her collarbone, her breast. "What do you want me to do to you?"
She's rolling the condom on with that determined expression she gets before sex all the time, biting her bottom lip. "Seeing as it's my birthday," Blair says, stroking him a few times, "I think at the very least you have to give me a very, very good orgasm."
His hand slides between her legs, delighting in her quiet gasp. He traces her nipple with his tongue as his fingers circle her clit. "I'll do my best," he says.
He can feel her breathing quicken as he kisses the space between her breasts on his way to the other one, as he slowly eases a finger inside her. She's starting to flush already; it starts over her cheeks but it'll spread down her throat. Her skin will be hot under his mouth.
"You're beautiful," he mumbles, kissing her. Her lips part under his. "You know?"
"I'm aware," Blair says, laughing breathlessly. She presses down on his finger and he slides in a second.
"Conceited," Dan says. He nips at her lower lip.
"Confident," she counters, kissing back. She moans a little into the kiss. "Humphrey," she says, low, against his mouth, "You're taking an awfully long time to fuck me."
Dan swallows a groan. "Here." He pulls his fingers out gently and leans back, urging her forward a little until he can position himself. He looks up at her. "Slowly," he instructs.
Blair nods, curling her hands over his shoulders as she sinks down at an achingly slow pace. She shuts her eyes once he's all the way in, clutches him so tightly her nails dig into his skin. "You feel so good," Dan says, runs his hands over her legs and ribs and breasts. He thinks in the back of his mind that that's a stupid thing to say, cliché as fuck, but nevertheless true.
Blair smiles, eyes opening. She starts to move, little controlled rolls of her hips. "Not so bad yourself."
"You're getting ever more complimentary," Dan says.
"Your haircut is still atrocious," Blair tells him. "Better?"
He grins, fingers pressing between her legs again. "Kind of hard for your insults to stick at a moment like this."
Blair rises up; Dan can feel the tremor in her thighs. "I'll tell you," her voice hitches as she lowers herself down again, slowly, slowly, "again after."
"Okay." He presses up and it's good – it's always good – but it's not enough, she's not close enough. He leans up, hand sliding over her lower back. "Come here," he says, "Kiss me."
Blair winds her arms around his neck and kisses him, messy at first in her distraction but then harder, more firmly. "Dan," she says, that breathless scolding, "I need –"
"What?" he mutters.
"More," Blair says, "This isn't – can we – switch?"
It takes some maneuvering, only slightly awkward, and then Blair's on her back, Dan above her. He rests his forehead against hers; there's there shortest distance to travel to kiss now and, anyway, this is how they both like it – all tangled up and close, too romantic or just romantic enough.
Blair comes with a low drawn-out moan and her fingers clenched in his hair painfully. It feels like the moment lasts so long, her mouth open and face screwed up, perspiration at her temples, mascara slightly gray under her eyes. Dan wants to tell her she's beautiful again but he's not sure she'd hear him and, regardless, the way her body's tightening around him makes speech impossible. Dan follows her, up and then down, and it's the closest they've ever come to something sort-of simultaneous.
He presses his face into the crook of her neck and just breathes, doesn't pull out yet, doesn't move. Her hold slowly releases. Her legs unwrap, feet drop back onto the bed. Her hands smooth over his scalp, maybe a little sorry for her grip.
"Good enough?" he asks, kisses her damp neck.
"You'll do," Blair answers. She runs her fingers over his cheek affectionately before shoving at his shoulder. "Get off me."
He pulls out, wincing slightly, ties the condom off and tosses it in the vicinity of the trash. Then he just rests back along her side and they tangle loosely again, arms around waists, her leg between his.
"I can't stay," Blair says. "My mother's awful boyfriend is at the house and she'll kill me if I'm not chipper and cheerful for breakfast."
"Alright," Dan says. Neither of them move. Blair twirls a fingertip over his bicep.
"Humphrey," she starts, falters. "How did this happen?"
He leans up on one elbow so he can really look at her. "What?"
"This," Blair says, not making eye contact, "This whatever-it-is."
"You didn't want to go buy a vibrator," he says.
She rolls her eyes. "No. I meant this thing where I…where I don't particularly mind the sight of you, in fact even sort of look forward to you –"
Dan touches her mouth lightly to stop her before giving her a brief kiss. "It just did," he says.
"You're awfully laconic after sex, Humphrey," Blair says, looking away. "Did you know that? It's truly bizarre, considering he sheer volume of words you spew usually."
Dan smiles and ducks his head to kiss her collarbone. "It's the only time I'm not thinking much."
"It's unnerving," Blair decides. She opens her mouth to continue but Dan kisses her silent.
Eventually they untangle for real. Blair goes into the bathroom to tidy up. Dan blows out the candles one by one. When she gets back, he re-zips her skirt and re-fastens the button at the base of her shirt. She buttons his jeans, kisses him, and turns his shirt rightside-out so he can pull it on.
They kiss at his door, then at the door of the loft, then at the door of the building. He flags down a cab and, before she gets in, she kisses him again, though they're plainly in public and really anyone could see. She curls her arms around his neck and kisses him for so long the cab driver honks to break it up.
"If you wanted," Blair says, pursing her lips, "Though I'm sure you don't. And my mother hates everyone, anyway, but if you wanted, I thought…maybe you could…come to breakfast. In the morning. As a friend."
Dan bites his lip, searches her expression. She just looks vaguely irritated, harried, like when one of girls in little girl gang wears tights in an unapproved color. "You want me to?"
Blair rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't kick you out."
He smiles a little then. "Alright. I'll come to breakfast."
"Fine," she says, like she couldn't care less.
Dan kisses her cheek, says in her ear, "You know you're a little rambley after sex, Waldorf?"
"Shut up." She smacks his arm, presses another quick kiss to his mouth, and gets in the cab. "I hang around you too much," she says, shaking her head, then gives her address to the driver and is off.
Dan watches until the cab is gone, hands in his pockets. He feels a kind of longing in her absence, already. He smells like her perfume. It occurs to him that all they've done together is create another, bigger problem – this longing he has for her that wasn't there before, something that sprung up between them no matter how hard they tried to keep all emotion at bay.
They weren't very careful at all.
Dan/Blair. 5073 words. R/NC-17.
Sequel to I want someone badly. Season 2 AU.
Summary: They're not very careful.
Note: Girl, I feel terrible, because this is not at all the fic I intended to write for you and I really wanted to write this other thing, but it ended up too ambitious for me to get done in time. Soo, in lieu of that, porn and fluff. AND EVEN SO I WAS LATE BY LIKE A WEEK. I AM TERRIBLE. I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Dan is mentally running through verb conjugations on the way to Italian when a hand reaches out, seemingly from nowhere, and drags him forcibly into a closet he hadn't even known was there.
"God, Humphrey," Blair says, "I've been waiting for you to come down this stupid hallway forever."
It figures, he thinks absently, that a janitor's closet at Constance Billard's School for Girls is nicer than any janitor's closet has any right to be.
"Stalking me?" he asks, dropping his bag to the ground.
She bites her lip. "Laying in wait."
"Setting traps," Dan says, stepping closer.
Her smile is full of that Blair Waldorf brand of faux-sweetness. She reaches for his tie to pull him in. "Hunting."
It's a real wonder that no one's found out yet. They're not very careful.
Dan lowers his head to kiss her neck first, breathing in that perfume of hers that he always finds on his clothes later. He tugs her collar aside – high, lacy, puritanical – and presses his mouth to one of the newer little bruises, flushed darker than the other yellowing ones dotting her throat. He leans into her, pressing her back against the wall, and waits for her hands to slide into his hair.
"You have a problem," Blair says, somewhere between annoyed and enjoying it. "I'm running out of neckwear options."
"Sorry," Dan mutters insincerely. He worries the spot with his teeth and almost smiles when he feels the answering tug on his hair.
"You haven't kissed me yet," she says.
"Because you're too demanding." He runs his hands up the backs of her thighs, finding the seam of her stockings with his fingertips. Her legs part slightly and he leans in closer still, slouching a little so he can fit their hips together.
Blair yanks sharply on his hair, pulling him away from her neck. "Kiss me, Humphrey," she demands.
He tilts his head, nudging his nose against hers, waiting until her eyes flutter closed to press the briefest, lightest kiss to her mouth. Blair frowns, eyes still shut, face scrunching up; it makes Dan laugh a little and then he kisses her properly, for real.
They don't have long. Fifteen minutes if they're lucky, and if they don't mind turning up late to class, fumbling excuses. Sleeping with Blair is proving to be bad for Dan's GPA; he thinks he's missed more class in the last three months than in his entire academic career. He used to be one of those kids who got awards for attendance.
Now he's making out with a girl who hates him in a school closet in the middle of the day. He's not sure if that's more or less sad, really.
Dan still doesn't know how to get used to kissing Blair. There's a kind of unyielding rush to her kisses, airless and unceasing; she leaves him short of breath. It's kiss after kiss after kiss, biting his lip, licking into his mouth. She trails kisses down his throat, hot and wet, and then back up, again, again. Dan buries his hand in her hair and tries to kiss back just as unrelentingly. It's near impossible; she's a force to be reckoned with in every sense.
Dan thinks he could kiss her for ages.
Blair moans a little against his mouth, hand knotting around his tie. "I don't give you enough credit," she murmurs, an absent thought. Dan doesn't even have time to register his surprise before she's shoving hard, turning them and slamming his back against the wall.
Blair pushes his blazer off roughly and lays it at their feet before pulling his shirt untucked. She slides her hands underneath, cool fingers on his warm skin.
"Humphrey?" She strokes his chest, pushing the shirt up. There is the slight bite of nails. "When's your birthday?"
"September," Dan says, confused. He tries to kiss her again but she moves just out of reach. She shakes her head a little, nose wrinkling, and Dan mirrors the gesture unconsciously. "It's not?"
"No." Blair leans in for a slow kiss, open-mouthed, and then folds to her knees. She looks up at him, all guileless doe eyes. "It's today."
Blair traces over the shape of him through his ill-fitting uniform pants (just god-awful, she says almost every time she takes them off him). Her mouth is all kiss-flushed. He thinks she was wearing lipgloss before because he can still faintly taste it, sticky and vanilla.
She gets his belt open, button open, zipper down; his pants sag a little, catching mid-thigh. Blair presses her mouth against him through the fabric of his boxers, a kind of lingering kiss, and then tugs his underwear out of the way. Dan's breath is trapped somewhere in his throat. It's quiet as she wraps a hand around him, biting her bottom lip with a determined look on her face.
"Any day now," Dan breathes. The joke doesn't land, tone all wrong.
"Do you want me to just leave you here?" she half-threatens, but she still leans in. She closes her mouth over him, sucking lightly, and then pulls off. She looks up. "Do you?"
Dan shakes his head. He's stilled entirely, watching her. Blair smiles a little and takes him in her mouth again.
He used to be so nervous about touching her when she was going down on him, afraid of tripping one of her countless invisible landmines. Now he ignores scolding about messing up her hair and buries his hands amongst her curls. She's got a dumb headband on, red and shiny, and his thumb brushes across it by accident, startling cool vinyl against her warmth. He pulls her hair, just a little, and is rewarded with the sound she makes low in her throat.
Dan tips his head back, knocking into the wall slightly too hard, and squeezes his eyes shut. He's lightheaded. He's definitely going to miss Italian. Even if he doesn't, he has no faith in his ability to comprehend or answer questions in another language when he can barely remember his own name right now. He's not going to last long at all, not with the way Blair is swallowing around him, the way her tongue presses just there, the way her nails dig into his hipbones. One hand slides up over his stomach, strokes his skin almost soothingly. Dan covers her hand with his, twists their fingers together.
As he gets closer, he pulls her hair again as a warning. It's become their usual signal. But, unexpectedly, Blair doesn't pull back. If anything, she presses closer, taking him in that little bit deeper, and Dan can't help it – he comes in her mouth, a groan trapped in his throat. He feels her swallow.
He can't really attempt standing after that, so Dan slides down the wall until he's sprawled in front of her. Blair watches him with a small smile, hands folded in her lap.
"That was revolting," she says.
She looks a mess, pink-lipped and hair askew. It's going to be so obvious. She'll fix herself up before going back out but it won't make a difference. He'll know. He'll see her in the halls and know what she looked like after. After she sucked him off. He'll see that look in her eyes, naughty and pleased. Like she has a secret.
Which she does. He's her secret.
Dan cups her cheek, runs his thumb over her mouth. She smiles again. "Humphrey," she chides, "Have you forgotten how to say thank-you?"
In answer, Dan leans in and kisses her. He holds her face between both hands, massaging her jaw the tiniest bit, and tastes himself there, somewhere between her teeth and tongue.
"I have to go," Blair murmurs after a moment. "We can't stay in here forever."
Dan nods, sitting back against the wall and watching as Blair puts herself to rights again. She runs her fingers through her hair (shooting a glare his way), touches up her makeup, smoothes her clothes. She looks almost normal again.
"Are you still coming over later?" she asks, standing. "To –" She smiles again. More than anything, he'll never get used to her smiling at him so much. "To run lines?"
"Yeah," Dan says softly.
"He can speak," she teases, holding out a hand to help him up. Blair puts him to rights too, zipping his pants back up and wiping stray lipgloss from the corner of his mouth. She even picks up his blazer for him and dusts it off.
At the door she pauses, surveying Dan with a contemplative look. She runs her hands over her hips and under her skirt, shimmies a little until her panties slide off; she steps out of them and picks them up. They're pink.
Dan is not really processing this whole encounter.
"I'd say you're full of surprises," he says. "But it's both cliché and an understatement."
"Bring them back to me," she says, tucking them into his pocket as she tiptoes up to kiss his cheek. "When you come over." She kisses the spot below his ear and then nips his earlobe. "I'll be thinking of you."
They're really not careful.
They barely make it through the door to her room before they're pulling at clothes eagerly, too impatient for buttons and ties, kissing too much to focus on the task at hand with any kind of thoroughness. They don't even make it onto the bed, landing instead on Blair's scratchy carpet. He expects her to be cross but she only laughs and pulls him into another kiss. Dan's hand dips between her legs, no barrier to prevent him, and calls her a tart even though he's never used that word before in his life, isn't even sure where it came from. It makes her laugh again; she calls him an idiot, voice hitching on a moan.
They wait as long as they can wait, until his fingers slide slippery over her, and then it's fumbling zippers and condoms, the sudden relief of being inside her, finally. It's what he's been waiting for all day. Blair throws her head back with a soft restless moan and Dan wonders again how he never noticed she was beautiful.
He can't help slowing down then. He likes the flush that creeps over her cheeks, the way she grips his shoulders, tucks her knees up against his sides. He likes the way she urges him on, bears down on him, grips his hair so tight it hurts. But he waits to move faster until she's twisting beneath him, until she says his name in that breathy scolding way, an irritated and plaintive Dan.
"Did you think about me?" he asks.
Blair's teeth are at his throat. She kisses his pulse point, messy. "Not once."
"I thought about you," he murmurs. He presses his face into the crook of her neck, leaning hard on his forearm so his free hand can slide between them. He kisses the lovebites he's left all over her neck, the ones she constantly complains about but never stops him from leaving.
Blair moans, offers him a distracted, "Did you?"
Every time he put his hand his pocket he brushed against pink lace and went bright red, forgot whatever he was saying. He couldn't stop thinking about Blair sitting in class with her knees together, demure as anything, and nothing on underneath her skirt.
"All day," he says.
Blair kisses him then, wraps her arms tight around his neck. "You may have crossed my mind," she says.
"Did I?" he half-teases.
Her hips cant upwards. Her heels bite into the backs of his legs. Dan can't keep the rhythm of his hips and his hand going at once, fingers slipping over her clit with uneven strokes, every so often wringing a quiet whimper.
"I could still taste you," Blair murmurs. "After."
Dan groans and covers her mouth with his, kisses her deeply. They trade half-kisses for a while as they move together, unpracticed and rushed as though they've never done this before, both of them hurtling towards something – an end, an apogee.
Quietly, so quietly, Blair says in his ear what seems at first like a stream of nonsense, Dan barely able to listen through his own haze. "It made me so – But I didn't do anything about it because I wanted to wait for you, I couldn't wait to have you –"
Dan kisses her again, stopping her words, because he doesn't know what to do with her saying things like that. It's different, this thread of affection that has begun to creep between them. Dan almost kissed her hello in the hallway a week ago. He was leaning in before he even realized what he was doing and when her eyes widened, he spun away.
She comes first, maybe because she's been waiting longer, and his name leaves her mouth in a gasp. That's another thing – how much he likes his name in her voice.
After, they lay there on their backs side by side, still half-undressed. Dan asks, "Should we really run lines?"
That's the game they play to spend time together; the school production is their perfect excuse. It's easy enough to slip into old roles in front of their friends and, if they seem to enjoy it too much, no one notices. "Are you coming over to rehearse tonight, Humphrey?" Blair would snap, all sharp edges. "Because I cleared a very important engagement from my social calendar just to help you with your painfully stilted line delivery."
Dan would roll his eyes; beside him, Nate laughs. "Yeah, I guess so. It's not like I have, you know, about a million better things to do. Really I'm doing you a favor. You owe me one."
"Well, I just spent ten seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
They'd snipe at each other a few minutes longer. But every day they go back at her place, play pretend for as long as possible but end up fucking, scripts abandoned beside them, Archer and Ellen's love story crumpling under grasping fingers.
Then at school rehearsal everyone wonders why they don't know their lines if they're always practicing. Julian says they have no chemistry.
Next to him, Blair laughs softly. "I suppose one of these days we actually should." She sits up and runs her hands through her hair, which is looking rather rough thanks to the floor. "But not tonight. Now that I'm so wonderfully relaxed," she shoots him a bit of a cheeky grin, "I plan on putting on my pajamas and curling up with The Postman Always Rings Twice." She pauses. "And maybe Double Indemnity. Penelope's ensemble today left me feelings awfully vindictive."
Dan laughs. "Good choices," he says. "Postman's the best."
Blair tilts her head, eyeing him. "You like that movie?"
"Yeah," Dan says, nodding. He sits up too, still feeling rather winded, and reaches for his shirt.
"If…" She purses her lips, thoughtful. "If you wanted, you could…stay and watch with me."
Dan opens his mouth, shuts it. "Uh. Okay."
They don't really do things like this – hang out. Unless he counts the ten to twenty minutes of afterglow (which Dan doesn't) they hardly spent any non-sexual time together. But now they tuck themselves up in her bed, laptop between them, and watch some film noir.
"You're that kind of girl," Dan says. He leans into her, resting his head on her shoulder.
"The kind of girl who kills her husband?" Blair asks, amused.
"Sexy and terrifying," Dan says. He smirks a little. "Good at pretending to be innocent."
She snorts, reaches up to rest a hand on his cheek, eyes on the screen. "You're one of those guys," she tells him. "A real sap."
"There's no way you could get me to off a guy for you."
Blair looks at him then, arching an eyebrow. "Oh really?"
Dan laughs. "Well, let's not test it."
A few hours and one more movie later, he texts Jenny to tell their dad that he's staying at Vanessa's for the night. Then he and Blair leave the safety of her room to go eat, Dorota eyeing him distrustfully. Blair tangles their ankles together under the table.
"My birthday's soon, you know," she says. She curls her fingers under his jaw so he'll lean in for a kiss. "You ought to get me a very good present."
"Oh, should I?" Dan smiles, then catches Dorota glaring and stops.
"You can go," Blair snaps loudly, glancing at Dorota. She sits back and smoothes her napkin over her lap. "Yes you should. Not that you're allowed to come to the party, of course, who would want you there." She slides a look his way that makes him think she's at least fifty percent kidding. "But that night you might have some uses."
Dan laughs, shaking his head, and swallows all his questions about what exactly is happening between them. It's one thing to sleep with her (This is you having a problem and me having a problem and us solving it, together) but it's another thing entirely to watch her smile and feel something in his chest twinge, some kind of nauseous excitement.
That night they go to bed together. Under her sheets, she tucks herself into the circle of his arms and they sleep.
She's got pretty good taste in movies, he thinks.
Dan does end up getting invited to her birthday, but he skips out on it. He'd had this bag ready to go with a change of clothes and candles and it all just began to seem utterly, utterly ridiculous. Blair is not his girlfriend and he is not her boyfriend; they're nothing to each other, they're just strangely sexually compatible.
Blair calls. "I can't believe you blew me off."
"I thought nobody wanted me there," Dan says.
She's silent. He can picture her on the other end, lips a tight line, caught and furious. "That's right," she says. "There wasn't anyone who wanted to see you."
Dan is quiet, then, "If anyone did, though… No one's home, here. Tonight." Jenny is in Hudson, bitter about missing another of Blair's birthday parties; Nate is off making up with his extended family; his dad lied and said he had gallery work, but is in fact on a date. It's just Dan.
"Don't be ridiculous," Blair says, hangs up. Forty minutes later there's a knock at his door.
Dan had been half-anticipating her. He thinks he's starting to learn her cues.
"You weren't missed," she says, pushing past him, "In fact nobody noticed that you weren't there. Except Serena. It wouldn't have even occurred to me if she hadn't said anything."
Dan tenses slightly. Serena's name is one they general avoid. "I figured," he says after a moment. "That no one would care."
Blair faces him, arms crossed. "No one did."
Dan looks at her, her spine straight and expression closed-off. Dan doesn't know what she wants from him. "Come here."
Blair purses her lips. "I hate you, you know."
Dan rolls his eyes. "Come here, would you?"
Pouting, Blair steps forward, tilting her face up for him to kiss her. It makes Dan smile a little. Blair still looks party-ready, made up, her hair swept up with careful carelessness. Her shirt's all ruffles and frills but her back is bare. He puts an arm around her, trails a touch down her spine.
"Nice neck ruff," he says.
"You're an idiot," Blair says. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"
He touches her neck, rests his hand there. "Yes," he says. Blair sighs a little when their lips meet, leans up into the kiss.
"You're the worst," she says softly, reaching up to wipe her lipstick off his bottom lip. "Why didn't you come?"
"I thought you didn't care," Dan murmurs.
"Maybe I do," she says.
"I freaked out a little," Dan admits. "I had this whole thing planned…candles, that kind of…" He shakes his head a little. "Seemed too romantic. I know that's…not our thing."
"No," Blair says slowly, and he thinks she's agreeing until she adds, "It sounds just romantic enough."
They relocate to his room. Dan takes out all the stupid candles and puts them on his bedside tables, on all the cluttered books, and lights them. Blair watches as she takes the pins from her hair. It falls around her shoulders.
He unbuttons Blair's shirt at the base of her spine, presses his mouth to the freckles between her shoulder blades. She lifts the silk away from her body, over her head; she's got nothing underneath it. Together they push her skirt over her hips. Her panties are sheer and black, a bow at the front. He wonders if she put them on expecting he would take them off.
Blair pulls his sweater up and off. She kisses his chest, over his heart. "Don't make me regret telling the truth," she says.
Confused, Dan frowns a little. Her hands drop to the button of his jeans. "About what?"
"That you're not," she tugs his jeans down and pushes him onto the bed, "entirely inconsequential to me."
He sets his hands on her hips, looking up at her. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"
Blair smiles a little. "Yes," she says, "Though you don't deserve it."
Dan pulls her into his lap, hands sliding over her back as they kiss. She cups his face and pressing close, her skin on his warm and soft. He leans back slowly until he hits the bed, Blair leaning over him.
"Aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?" She kisses him briefly before moving down his body, dropping kisses as she goes. She curls her fingers over the waistband of his boxers.
"Happy birthday," he says quietly.
Blair smiles a little as she gets his boxers off, dropping them over the side of the bed. "Those are hideous," she says. "Also I'm still angry with you."
"You've got a strange way of showing it."
"See," Blair says, sitting up and hooking her fingers over the sides of her panties. "You can't even follow conversational cues correctly. What you're supposed to say is, 'How can I make it up to you?'"
Dan is distracted watching her, sitting up to cover her hands with his own as she takes her underwear off. He hadn't known what to do with that other pair of her panties, ended up shoving them underneath his mattress like sixth grade stashed porn. "Oh?"
"Mhm." Blair pushes on his chest so he's lying back again. She leans over him to get the condoms out of the bedside drawer (it still strikes Dan as bizarre that she knows where they are, though of course she would, she put them there). "And then I tell you what I want you to do to me."
Dan leans in again to kiss her collarbone, her breast. "What do you want me to do to you?"
She's rolling the condom on with that determined expression she gets before sex all the time, biting her bottom lip. "Seeing as it's my birthday," Blair says, stroking him a few times, "I think at the very least you have to give me a very, very good orgasm."
His hand slides between her legs, delighting in her quiet gasp. He traces her nipple with his tongue as his fingers circle her clit. "I'll do my best," he says.
He can feel her breathing quicken as he kisses the space between her breasts on his way to the other one, as he slowly eases a finger inside her. She's starting to flush already; it starts over her cheeks but it'll spread down her throat. Her skin will be hot under his mouth.
"You're beautiful," he mumbles, kissing her. Her lips part under his. "You know?"
"I'm aware," Blair says, laughing breathlessly. She presses down on his finger and he slides in a second.
"Conceited," Dan says. He nips at her lower lip.
"Confident," she counters, kissing back. She moans a little into the kiss. "Humphrey," she says, low, against his mouth, "You're taking an awfully long time to fuck me."
Dan swallows a groan. "Here." He pulls his fingers out gently and leans back, urging her forward a little until he can position himself. He looks up at her. "Slowly," he instructs.
Blair nods, curling her hands over his shoulders as she sinks down at an achingly slow pace. She shuts her eyes once he's all the way in, clutches him so tightly her nails dig into his skin. "You feel so good," Dan says, runs his hands over her legs and ribs and breasts. He thinks in the back of his mind that that's a stupid thing to say, cliché as fuck, but nevertheless true.
Blair smiles, eyes opening. She starts to move, little controlled rolls of her hips. "Not so bad yourself."
"You're getting ever more complimentary," Dan says.
"Your haircut is still atrocious," Blair tells him. "Better?"
He grins, fingers pressing between her legs again. "Kind of hard for your insults to stick at a moment like this."
Blair rises up; Dan can feel the tremor in her thighs. "I'll tell you," her voice hitches as she lowers herself down again, slowly, slowly, "again after."
"Okay." He presses up and it's good – it's always good – but it's not enough, she's not close enough. He leans up, hand sliding over her lower back. "Come here," he says, "Kiss me."
Blair winds her arms around his neck and kisses him, messy at first in her distraction but then harder, more firmly. "Dan," she says, that breathless scolding, "I need –"
"What?" he mutters.
"More," Blair says, "This isn't – can we – switch?"
It takes some maneuvering, only slightly awkward, and then Blair's on her back, Dan above her. He rests his forehead against hers; there's there shortest distance to travel to kiss now and, anyway, this is how they both like it – all tangled up and close, too romantic or just romantic enough.
Blair comes with a low drawn-out moan and her fingers clenched in his hair painfully. It feels like the moment lasts so long, her mouth open and face screwed up, perspiration at her temples, mascara slightly gray under her eyes. Dan wants to tell her she's beautiful again but he's not sure she'd hear him and, regardless, the way her body's tightening around him makes speech impossible. Dan follows her, up and then down, and it's the closest they've ever come to something sort-of simultaneous.
He presses his face into the crook of her neck and just breathes, doesn't pull out yet, doesn't move. Her hold slowly releases. Her legs unwrap, feet drop back onto the bed. Her hands smooth over his scalp, maybe a little sorry for her grip.
"Good enough?" he asks, kisses her damp neck.
"You'll do," Blair answers. She runs her fingers over his cheek affectionately before shoving at his shoulder. "Get off me."
He pulls out, wincing slightly, ties the condom off and tosses it in the vicinity of the trash. Then he just rests back along her side and they tangle loosely again, arms around waists, her leg between his.
"I can't stay," Blair says. "My mother's awful boyfriend is at the house and she'll kill me if I'm not chipper and cheerful for breakfast."
"Alright," Dan says. Neither of them move. Blair twirls a fingertip over his bicep.
"Humphrey," she starts, falters. "How did this happen?"
He leans up on one elbow so he can really look at her. "What?"
"This," Blair says, not making eye contact, "This whatever-it-is."
"You didn't want to go buy a vibrator," he says.
She rolls her eyes. "No. I meant this thing where I…where I don't particularly mind the sight of you, in fact even sort of look forward to you –"
Dan touches her mouth lightly to stop her before giving her a brief kiss. "It just did," he says.
"You're awfully laconic after sex, Humphrey," Blair says, looking away. "Did you know that? It's truly bizarre, considering he sheer volume of words you spew usually."
Dan smiles and ducks his head to kiss her collarbone. "It's the only time I'm not thinking much."
"It's unnerving," Blair decides. She opens her mouth to continue but Dan kisses her silent.
Eventually they untangle for real. Blair goes into the bathroom to tidy up. Dan blows out the candles one by one. When she gets back, he re-zips her skirt and re-fastens the button at the base of her shirt. She buttons his jeans, kisses him, and turns his shirt rightside-out so he can pull it on.
They kiss at his door, then at the door of the loft, then at the door of the building. He flags down a cab and, before she gets in, she kisses him again, though they're plainly in public and really anyone could see. She curls her arms around his neck and kisses him for so long the cab driver honks to break it up.
"If you wanted," Blair says, pursing her lips, "Though I'm sure you don't. And my mother hates everyone, anyway, but if you wanted, I thought…maybe you could…come to breakfast. In the morning. As a friend."
Dan bites his lip, searches her expression. She just looks vaguely irritated, harried, like when one of girls in little girl gang wears tights in an unapproved color. "You want me to?"
Blair rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't kick you out."
He smiles a little then. "Alright. I'll come to breakfast."
"Fine," she says, like she couldn't care less.
Dan kisses her cheek, says in her ear, "You know you're a little rambley after sex, Waldorf?"
"Shut up." She smacks his arm, presses another quick kiss to his mouth, and gets in the cab. "I hang around you too much," she says, shaking her head, then gives her address to the driver and is off.
Dan watches until the cab is gone, hands in his pockets. He feels a kind of longing in her absence, already. He smells like her perfume. It occurs to him that all they've done together is create another, bigger problem – this longing he has for her that wasn't there before, something that sprung up between them no matter how hard they tried to keep all emotion at bay.
They weren't very careful at all.