with the cruelest of intentions
Blair, Serena, Dan, Jenny. Some others, multi-pairing.
Based on Cruel Intentions. R. 20k words.
W: nothing you don't see in the movie, but just in case: underage sex, consent shadiness, general terrible humans.
Summary: Incestuous stepsisters Blair and Serena set out to seduce poor, innocent Dan Humphrey.
previous part
Serena looks at Dan curiously as she sucks the gelato from her tiny spoon, not trying for once to be enticing. "Pretty much the last thing I expected was you calling me," she says.
Dan shrugs a little, not making eye contact. "It was brought to my attention that maybe I wasn't being entirely fair."
"How about that," Serena says with a slight smile. She gives him a little nudge with her elbow.
"And Jenny says you've been really cool to her," he says. "I appreciate that, you know. It's never meant much to me, but Jen… She really wants to fit in. She wants to make friends. I was always kind of a loner, but I think she was just lonely."
Last night Serena fingered Jenny in the grimy bathroom of a bar and then fed her so many shots she puked in the back of a cab. Real cool. "She's a great girl," Serena says and then, eager to change the subject, "So your girlfriend doesn't mind you taking me out for the afternoon?"
"I'm not taking you out," Dan says.
"Evasive," Serena accuses with a smile. "Seriously. I don't know what girl wouldn't be jealous of the likes of me." She means it playfully, mostly as a joke, and she tosses her hair and bats her eyelashes for emphasis. Dan laughs.
"Alright, well, if we're being honest," he says, "She and I broke up at the start of the summer."
"Aww," Serena says, feeling triumphant. She'd never bought that whole thing. "I'm sorry."
"You are not sorry at all," he says, but he's smiling.
"Well, no," Serena agrees. "Her loss, my gain. What happened?"
"It was that article," Dan admits. "Apparently she was not so happy about me calling her my girlfriend. She said that she doesn't like labels, I should have known better, and I wasn't respecting her boundaries. So. That put an end to that."
"Wait, she was your friend with benefits and you weren't even getting benefits? That's cold."
"There were some benefits," Dan protests, then, "Why am I even discussing this with you."
Serena grins. "I'd never complain about you calling me your girlfriend," she says, which is an out and out lie, because no one word is as likely to send her running for the hills as that one.
"Too bad we will never ever be testing that theory," he says.
"Never ever," Serena repeats contemplatively. "Those are some very definite words, Mr. Writer."
"That they are," he agrees.
"You so sure about never?"
Dan glances at her, his lips pulling into a little bit of a thoughtful pout before his mouth relaxes. "I don't mind being friends," he says finally. "Which I told you. But c'mon, we both know that whatever thing it is you're trying to start with me, it wouldn't go anywhere."
"It doesn't really have to," Serena says. "We can just have crazy wild sex until we get sick of each other."
He flushes a little, looking away. "I –"
"I know, I know," Serena sighs, disappointed. "You're not that kind of girl."
"Wanting to wait does not make me a girl."
Bluntly, Serena says, "Yes it does. I have never in my life met a guy who'd turn down no-strings hot sex because he wanted feelings. It's usually the other way around."
"I guess I'm a particular guy then," he says.
"Particularly strange," Serena says. She hooks her arm through his, leaning in to steal a scoop of his gelato. Serena wouldn't consider herself especially good at playing people, at least compared to Blair, because she just doesn't pay enough attention to find out what makes them tick. But boys are easy enough and she knows boys, could ace the SAT of boys, and the same games bring them down every time. "Is it because you don't know what to do?"
Dan gives her a mildly harassed look. "I know what to do."
She shrugs a little, leaning more heavily into his side. "I get that it could make you nervous," she says. "Not knowing."
"I know, okay, I know," Dan says. "It's not that much of a mystery."
Serena laughs. "Yeah, but it's one thing to jerk off alone in your room to porn and a totally different thing to actually be with another person."
Clearly uncomfortable but trying to hide it, Dan says wryly, "Yeah, I could've figured that one out."
"Could you?" she teases. "Have you ever even touched a girl?" Her fingers curl around his wrist, touch trailing up his forearm. "Or another boy?"
"I'm not gay," Dan murmurs.
"Could've fooled me," Serena says. "Not that there's anything wrong with it. In fact, it's pretty hot. I've done that, you know. Two guys. You must've read about it." Her fingers run up and down his arm as they walk, and she's speaking directly into his ear. "Done the other kind too. What have you done? Have you touched a girl? Did you go down on your girlfriend ¬– your non-girlfriend?"
"Ye– No. You're asking a lot of questions."
Serena smiles. "They're not exactly hard ones."
"I –" He pulls his arm from her grip suddenly. "I gotta go, my – my train's right up here, I'll – It was, uh, nice, I guess." Dan runs a hand through his hair, looks her over once without seeming to mean to, and then nods briskly before dashing off down the nearest subway steps.
So skittish, she thinks. Not like Jenny.
Blair and Dan run into each other again at a student government meeting. Blair is holding it ahead of time to get the jump on everything; Dan is shadowing because he wants to run for something. He spends the entire time slouched in the far corner of their lounge, silent except when Blair brings up one of her new plans for the year, which is when he'll lazily raise his hand and then poke holes in each and every idea. Blair becomes slowly more infuriated and it must show because all the girls start hiding smirks. She can't wait until Serena finishes this loser.
Afterwards she accosts him. "You know," she says, "I can't quite understand how someone who doesn't even attend a school yet thinks he has some say in how it's run."
"You don't run anything," Dan points out. He swings his bag up onto his shoulder and heads for the door. Rude. "All you do is pick prom colors or whatever."
Blair snatches up her purse and is at his heels. "If you think that's all it is, then why are you even here?"
Dan pauses to let her catch up to him. He gives her a slightly sarcastic smile. "I feel very strongly about gold and cream."
Blair rolls her eyes. As they step out into the sunshine, she fishes her cigarettes out of her bag and makes a point of not offering him any. She chooses a yellow to complement her blue sundress. Proving his rudeness once again, Dan reaches over to take the silver case right out of her hands, laughing. "Are you kidding me," he says. "Do you really color-coordinate your cigarettes?"
Blair grabs the case back angrily, snapping it shut. "There is no detail too small when it comes to the perfect ensemble." She thinks her mother said that in an interview once. Blair always felt that whatever Eleanor's faults, she was usually on point with fashion advice.
It's Dan's turn to roll his eyes, though he appears to be a good deal more amused than Blair is. "I guess you guys have nothing but time on your hands to come up with stuff like that." He holds out a hand. "Match me one."
Blair frowns at him, but nevertheless deftly chooses a green to offset his blue striped shirt. He leans in for a light and for some reason, perhaps just to make him uncomfortable, Blair tilts her face up and presses the tip of her cigarette to his. Their eyes meet and he doesn't even seem the slightest bit ill-at-ease, only confused. He turns a little to exhale a slow stream of smoke but his eyes remain locked with hers. Blair's breath is in her throat though she'd never admit it, something about their proximity, or knowing he has no clue that she's integral in fucking over his family, something.
Then he says, "Do you know what your sister's deal is?" and Blair swallows whatever it was she'd felt, tasting venom.
"Do you suspect everyone of ulterior motives, Humphrey?" she says, moving off down the street.
"Everyone here," he says. He must answer everything honestly, she thinks. How funny. "I don't know, it's not that I think she has ulterior motives; I just don't get it. I doubt I'm…her type or anything."
"Serena doesn't have a type," Blair says, which is fair enough; Serena will fuck anybody. "She likes you. Girl meets boy, girl likes boy. It's that simple."
"Is it?" Dan says with a little bit of a sigh.
Blair glances at him. "Is it not romantic enough for you?" she mocks. "I read your article too, you know. If you're trying to turn your life into some kind of novel, you're going to be sorely disappointed every time. Life's not fiction. It's not a movie."
"Says the girl who matches her cigarettes to her dresses," he says. His smile seems a touch more genuine this time.
"Complements her dresses," she corrects. "I'm only saying. If you're looking for a grand romance then you're not going to find it. It doesn't exist. Believe me."
He gives her a faintly curious look. "You don't believe in love?"
Blair smiles a counterfeit smile. "I learned my lesson," she says simply. It's only at the look on his face that she thinks she gave away too much; his honesty must be catching.
Back when Blair was still something of a little girl, when she still thought Nate hung the moon, she probably wasn't altogether unlike Humphrey when it came to matters like this. She'd wanted to lose her virginity on a bed strewn with rose petals and surrounded by candles on the night of their cotillion. She probably spent more time dreaming of that than anything else, even though she knew it was silly.
In those freshman days before Gossip Girl, they were all so inept at the game, so young. Blair never did learn who Nate gave it up to; he confessed without naming names. She'd been upset enough to get drunk and fuck the first guy she found, attempting to strike back vengefully – though of course Nate hadn't been jealous at all, possibly hadn't even noticed.
It had been in the back of a limo, that first time. She doesn't even remember the guy's name now and it's conceivable that she was too drunk to ask for it. That had been the only time Serena was the one to come to the rescue since, after all, she had experience in quickly regretted drunken hookups. Even at that age, Serena had been where Blair was many, many times before.
Blair had wanted so badly for it to be special, that first time and every time after. She knows now it never is. You enjoyed it if you could and used it if you must. But it's never special.
Perhaps sensing the change in her demeanor, Dan says gently, "You really could stand to lighten up, Waldorf. You're glaringly pessimistic."
"Optimism is just delusion," Blair tells him. "I'm realistic."
"Says every pessimist ever, with no sense of irony," Dan says.
"You're so naïve," she says, adding smugly, "I'm just smarter than you are."
"I can't wait to see your face when grades come in," he says and Blair smiles, telling him once again that he's deluded. But Dan ignores the insult, instead focusing on her brief flash of amusement. "So you can smile for real. I thought it was just a rumor."
Blair gives an annoyed huff. "You're not funny."
"No, I am," he says. "I'm very funny. You can laugh, you know, if you want to; I won't tell anyone."
"Laugh at what? That hideous shirt you're wearing? Certainly not your nonexistent wit."
"Physical comedy is just as valid," Dan allows with a nod, unflappably calm in the face of her zippy irritation.
Blair sort of wants to do something childish like push him, or at the very least storm off, but she finds that quite without intending to she does laugh, the sound bubbling up like champagne. "God," she says. "You're an idiot."
Dan grins at her. "But a funny one, am I right?"
"Comedy is the lowest form of entertainment," Blair informs him. "Which makes perfect sense, considering the source."
He laughs then. "You're so full of shit," he says. "It's astounding."
Blair looks at him, very aware that he has no idea just how true that statement is and suddenly not so pleased by the idea. "Have you ever been in love, Humphrey?"
He seems a little surprised by the question and then tells her, "No."
"Then it doesn't seem to me that you're informed enough to speak on it," she says. "Don't discount Serena just yet."
"Oh," he says, as if he'd forgotten. "Well. I think I'll know when the time comes."
"Or you'll spend your life waiting for something that never arrives." Blair drops her cigarette to the sidewalk and grounds it out with a sunshine yellow heel. "Green suits you," she says, giving him a last look. She does leave him then, unable to stand such insipid conversation for a minute longer.
The last month of the summer is always spent in the Hamptons and this year is no exception. Since before they were sisters, Blair and Serena have been wiling away the sticky end of summer at the house of Serena's well-meaning-if-senile-and-drunk grandmother. Blair is the one to extend a polite invitation to Jenny Humphrey, which the other girl snaps up with ease, slinking back two days later to ask if it wouldn't be okay if her brother came too? He just has all these ridiculous ideas about protecting her, it's so embarrassing, but can he?
Of course, Blair said, her expression neutral. Of course he can.
Serena is the one who drives down with Jenny, in some ridiculous sporty little car her father got her that only seats two. She'd been planning on a romantic little drive down with the brother but when Jenny arrived, touting a Disney princess sleeping bag of all things in addition to a beat-up duffle bag Blair wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, she explained that he had to come a day late because of some internship interview. Blair was already going a day later than the rest of them, so she offered to take Serena's boytoy off her hands.
"Better me than the jitney," Blair tells her. "The bathroom of that thing probably has your name and number on it."
"Alright," Serena says warily. "But don't be too much of a bitch, okay?"
Blair smiles. "I'll be utterly charming. He'll leave that car thinking you're the one who put the sun in the sky."
But when Blair and Dan arrive together, him stepping out of the town car first and giving Blair his hand, Serena isn't so sure. He has that usual look of wry entertainment but there's something hesitant in his smile, vulnerable almost. Amusement sparks in Blair's eyes, but otherwise her expression is so locked-down that it must mean she's hiding something.
Serena thinks she understands now why Blair suddenly decided to be so helpful about Dan. She should have been more suspicious from the start; the idea that Blair would ever let her win anything is laughable. Of course, Blair never intended for her to win at all. Blair's been undermining her instead.
Serena's eyes narrow as they walk up the path together, Dan saying something that makes Blair smile. Two can play at that.
Serena tousles her hair in the mirror, twisting strands this way and that, fixes it and musses it, digs through her products, curling iron hot and at the ready. Normally she's not one to put all that much effort into it and she doesn't understand why she's being so fussy, why she even cares what Dan thinks or what Dan likes. She's just getting it right when Jenny drops onto the bench beside her, beaming, and slides her fingers into Serena's hair. Her other hand curves over Serena's thigh.
"You look so pretty," Jenny says, and she's leaning in, lips pink and glossy.
Serena, however, is having none of it. She hadn't anticipated Jenny being more than a one-off, but she's having difficulty shaking her. She dodges the kiss, hopping up. "Why don't you go out and have some fun, huh, Jenny? Get some ice cream or something."
"I thought we could have some fun," Jenny says. She pouts a little, her eyes wide and appealing. She learned fast, that one.
Serena's eyes are on herself in the mirror, adjusting the way her top falls and the line of her lipgloss. "Some other time."
Ignoring Jenny's disappointment, Serena heads for the door – but not before casting one final look in the mirror. Her goal is Dan, but she finds Blair first. She's in the study that overlooks the backyard, peering through the curtains.
"I think you turned Jenny into a lesbian by mistake," Serena says by way of a greeting. "Which is probably just as good."
Blair glances at her, twitching the curtains closed. A sly smile graces her lips. "Don't give me all the credit. You're the one who's just too good with her tongue."
"Not like you'd know," Serena points out. Then, "What're you looking at?" She crosses to Blair and pushes the curtains aside widely, sunlight pouring into the room. There on the grounds, back against a tree, is Dan. He's absorbed in a book, absolutely engrossed, his troubled expression mirroring whatever's happening on the page. Serena looks from him to Blair and laughs. "Do you have a thing for him now too?"
Blair makes a gagging sound. "I was just looking out the window, Serena; not everything has a double meaning."
"With you it does," Serena says. "Look. I know you're up to something." Blair's face betrays nothing, not even a hint of interest. "Whatever it is, I want you to know it's not going to work."
Haughtily, Blair says, "I have no idea what you're on about."
"Yes you do," Serena says. She reaches out, fingers slipping between the buttons of Blair's blouse to find the rough lace of her bra and the warmth of her skin. "I want you to know that I'm going to win. And then we're finally going to finish this."
Blair doesn't enjoy being so openly challenged, or at least likes to pretend that she doesn't; her lip curls. "You can try," she says.
Serena smiles. The first few buttons of Blair's top become undone between her fingers and she revels in Blair's slight intake of breath. "I'll take you up on that," Serena says.
In the matter of a few minutes, Serena is outside, dropping down onto the grass beside Dan. He glances up at her with a smile before returning his attention to the book; once he finishes the page, he marks his place and closes it. "Hello there," he says.
"Hi." Serena gestures him closer and he leans in obligingly, though his lips part in mild surprise when she pushes up onto her elbows and kisses his cheeks, one and then the other. The smile on his face curls so sweetly that she kisses that too, her mouth insistent against his. There's only a half-breath's pause before he responds. Her arm curls around his neck, pulling him down, and Dan's hand settles high on her ribs, a finger brushing bare skin where her crop top ends.
Neither of them are looking so neither of them see the curtains shift closed in the window of the study that overlooks the grounds.
And then Dan pulls away and sits up again, turning away.
"What?" Serena says, a little impatient. Things had finally started to go well for once. "What is it?"
Dan's brow is furrowed and he gives her a wry, helpless look. "I don't know," he says. "This whole thing is really confusing."
"It's actually not, though," she says. She wriggles down a little and lets her top ride up tantalizingly, but Dan doesn't take the bait, instead reaching over to tug her shirt down with pink cheeks. That makes her angry. "You know what? I don't get it. Are you fucking with me? Is this some kind of game you're playing to – I don't know, to make me feel bad because you don't approve of my past? Because you think I'm a –"
"What?" Dan stares at her like she's flat-out crazy. Such mental gymnastics would probably never even occur to him. "No. No, this has nothing to do with you. It's me."
Serena rolls her eyes. "It's not you, it's me," she mocks. "How original."
Dan takes a breath. "Look, I like you. I think you're beautiful. But I don't trust myself around you. I don't trust myself in your world. I'm just trying to get through high school unscathed and go to a good college. That's all I want. I don't want to get wrapped up in all – in all this."
"I don't get you," she snaps. "If you really think that, then why are you here? Why did you call me the other day? Why are you hanging out with Blair?"
Chastised, he looks away again. "I don't know," he says.
"Try and figure it out," Serena says, annoyed, and gets to her feet, taking off in a huff.
Blair eschews breakfast and gets a massage instead, though she's too tense and irritable to really enjoy it. Neither Serena nor Dan had showed up for dinner the night before, so Blair had been forced to spend half the night pretending to listen to Jenny's inane prattling while she replayed that kiss every time she blinked. Blair doesn't know what's bothering her. It's not like she didn't know what was going on – it was the whole point of their bet, for crying out loud. Perhaps she's disappointed in Dan for giving in to a pretty blonde so easily despite his grand proclamations of moral superiority. Perhaps she's just bored by all of this.
The door clicks open and Serena swans in with sex-mussed hair, dismissing the masseuse cheerfully. Blair frowns, pushing up into a seated position and draping the sheet around herself. Disgruntled, she says, "You're cheerful this morning. I suppose you’ve come to make arrangements."
Serena runs a hand down the length of Blair's bare back as she passes. She drops into the armchair facing Blair, legs kicked up over the side, shoes off. She's got a lollipop in one hand, shiny red against her pink mouth. "Arrangements?"
"Collecting your prize," Blair explains with a bit of an annoyed huff.
Serena arches an eyebrow. "I didn't win yet."
Blair narrows her eyes. "You didn't?"
Serena gives a little bit of a sigh and stretches in the chair, rearranging herself with both legs folded up Indian-style. "Dan's so uptight," she says. "I don't know what else to do with him."
Blair straightens. The thrill of triumph threatens to race up her back. "So you're forfeiting."
"I never said that," Serena says. "I've just been thinking…" She sucks on the lollipop for a thoughtful moment. "I'm not having much fun. Are you?"
Blair looks at her curiously. "I can't say I am, no."
"So why stick to the same old program?" Serena says. "Let's change it up. This is about having fun."
Blair's lips purse slightly and she tucks her legs up on the table, a tendril of hair escaping her pins to trail gracefully along her shoulder. She does not correct Serena, though she wants to; this isn't about fun, it's about control. "What do you mean?"
"Let's readjust the bet. Instead of me doing all the work, how about…" Her eyes meet Blair's, blue and open and somehow inscrutable all the same. "The first one to get him wins. Stakes are the same, but the game's more complex." Her eyebrow lifts and a small smile curves her mouth. "We've always been rivals for a reason, right?"
Usually that word is unspoken between them, a label slapped on by the other girls or by Gossip Girl but not addressed by either Blair or Serena. They prefer terms like best friend, sister, soulmate, or even frenemy on occasion. Rival has an altogether different taste. They always have been rivals. They have always been rivals for a reason and that reason is that no one else is half as fun to compete against, or half as difficult, Blair's dogged pursuit of her goals versus Serena's seemingly effortless side-steps into good luck. But their tools are the same even if they use them differently and they’ve been beating each other to the same finish lines since infancy, so why stop now?
"Isn't Dan getting in your way at school, anyway?" Serena goads, seeing Blair remains unconvinced. "He's probably the only person there who might be smarter than you."
"Oh please," Blair scoffs.
"Well, he'll try to be, anyway," Serena says. "Come on." Her eyes almost seem to sparkle, deeply blue and darkly mischievous. "Why destroy one Humphrey when you can destroy them both? Isn't that what you said to me when we started this?"
Blair is silent, considering. Her heart flutters madly in her chest, not that it would be visible or obvious to anyone on the outside. The Humphreys have been a thorn in her side ever since their first appearance, and despite the odd feeling of something akin to friendship that Dan has inspired in her, Blair would be much happier with them ruined and gone. Out of her way. Unable to affect her.
"Yes," she says finally, looking back at Serena. "Yes, I think those terms will be acceptable."
Dan is in the study in a green leather chair beside the window, a floor lamp casting a pool of light around him that looks almost staged. The world outside the window is impenetrably dark. Dan has one book open in his hand and two more stacked in his lap.
"Do you have any other hobbies?" Blair asks. She shuts the door behind her and leans against it, arching an eyebrow at him as her lips curve up at the corner. "Maybe you could take up something besides reading and bothering socialites. I've heard hiking is quite invigorating."
He shuts the book and sits up. "I like to swim," he offers.
"Ah. I have heard that." Blair walks towards him with a little sashay in her hips, demonstrating an astonishing lack of subtlety that would embarrass her normally. Her only excuse is that she's so pressed for time, so intent upon beating Serena. It's exciting, the competition; Blair loved to compete, especially against someone who could beat her, because it always made the winning sweeter. It also made the losing worse.
She's wearing a short black dress, bare legs, collarbones and cleavage. Dan's gaze drags up over her legs before he looks at her face and she likes to think that she doesn't imagine his throat working in a swallow.
"Anyway," Dan says, his eyes on hers now. "Bothering socialites was never really my plan."
"An unexpected talent," Blair says. "You're terribly good at it."
"Am I?" he asks.
Blair leans back against the large desk across from him, crossing her legs at the ankle. "You're driving Serena crazy. She gets bored so easily, so you're actually doing a very good job if you're trying to rope her in for long haul."
"I'm not trying to do anything," Dan says. "Except have a decent summer."
"I'm just trying to have a decent summer," Blair says mockingly, a smile curving her lips. "Everyone's got some kind of plan, whether they admit it or not."
"Is that so?" Dan slouches back in his seat, posture becoming relaxed and oddly sexy, and tilts his head. "What's your plan?"
She smiles enigmatically, evades it. "Are you really just here to have a pleasant summer?"
Dan glances away, seeming to fight a smile, before he looks at her. "Are you really just here to talk up Serena?"
Blair bites her lip. "No," she admits.
"No," Dan agrees. He sets his books aside to join her at the desk, leaning beside her companionably.
"You're a real hypocrite, you know," she murmurs. "You say you want to wait for love, but then you turn your back as soon as you get close to finding it." Their eyes meet in a sidelong glance and she adds, "With Serena, I mean."
"It's all kind of freaking me out," Dan admits. "Serena's got a lot more experience than I do."
"Don't worry," Blair says. "She probably doesn't remember most of it."
He starts to reply but seems too taken aback by that, lips parted and brow furrowed. Finally, he says, "See, that's part of it. That's not a normal thing to say. You guys are all so nonchalant about things like that."
"You have an awful way with words for a writer," Blair tells him. "There's nothing to be afraid of. It won't get you anywhere in life." Blair looks at him again and finds herself tilting closer. "If you want to kiss a girl then you ought to kiss her. If she wants to go to bed with you, then you ought to take her at her word."
"I ought to, huh," he muses. She does not imagine the flicker of his gaze to her lips. She presses them together briefly, wets them.
"Don't be scared," she says. "I don't bite."
"Not even figuratively?" he says.
"Not unless you ask me to," Blair says and gives up on subtlety altogether, presses her lips to Dan Humphrey's. His part automatically, as though he is ever-surprised by the idea that someone would kiss him.
Blair is embarrassed by how quickly her hand comes up to touch him, not gripping or grasping but just resting, palm against the warmth of his cotton t-shirt. Her fingertips just barely brush his throat. He is a better kisser than she would have taken him for, careful and gentle but with something beneath it, a promise of passion.
"That's the thing," he muses softly, his eyes still closed and mouth so close to hers, "About Serena. I like her a lot, but…the way you make me feel –"
Blair cuts him off with another kiss, unprepared for words of that nature right now when she's just trying to cross a finish line. She curls both arms around his neck and hops back onto the desk, kissing him like it's something she really means – and the terrifying part is that maybe it is. His hands are on her hips, ribs, breasts, waist, he kisses her like he absolutely means to do nothing else, possible ever.
And, breathless, Blair suddenly feels – suddenly feels.
"Excuse me," she breathes, pushing him away. To his credit, he immediately backs off. "Excuse me, I just –" But she doesn't even have it within her to work up a lie, she just rushes for the door she came in through, looking like a fool. She's a complete fool.
His mouth had been red, flushed, and he'd let her go with every muscle tense like he wanted to follow.
In between bouts of fucking and evading Jenny – who is such a quick study that she's become stunningly proficient at eating Serena out, so efficient Serena can't possibly turn her down all the time, and anyway she needs someone to release her tension – Serena sidles up to Dan some more. He apologized for kissing her and then shutting her down, though his phrasing had been much more delicate and surprisingly earnest, in a way that warmed Serena, a little. But he hadn't tried to kiss her again, and she certainly wasn't setting herself up for rejection yet again. She could do other things instead.
After he said his sheepish sorry, Serena only stuck out a hand. "Friends?" she asked, face crinkling with a smile sweet as his, just as innocent.
"Friends," he'd agreed, relieved, and they shook on it. Dan is the kind of guy who means what he says and therefore takes other people at their word, so that simple exchange had freed her up for a lot of flirtatious behavior that he would feel too good-natured to call her out on.
She steals his books and entices him to chase her, involves him in friendly tumbles in the grass to get them back. She splashes him in pools, loses her top by apparent accident in the ocean. She curls up against him to watch TV at night, arm through his and fingers intertwined. She is such a good friend.
The weird part is that Dan is kind of fun in his not-fun way, low-key and quietly sarcastic. She'd like to pull him over to her side of the divide, get him messy and drunk and high and hear his poetry then, mumbled against her mouth or between her legs.
And their growing closeness is obviously driving Blair crazy, though it only shows in her sharp quips and pursed lips. She's also become consumed with planning a party for that weekend to the exclusion of all else, so if she's working on her own to seduce Dan, Serena can see no sign of it.
But once, sitting outside on a blanket, Dan reading and Serena on her stomach getting a tan with her bikini untied, he asks, "So what's your sister's deal?"
"What do you mean?" Serena peers at him, eyes screwed up against sunlight, and is rewarded by the way his gaze travels briefly over her naked back.
"I don't know." Very purposefully, he focuses on the pages of his book. "I've just gotten the impression that she's kind of…sad about something. Like, underneath all the bitching, she's just really sad."
Serena snorts. "I guess that's a word for it," she says. "Can I turn over or will it offend your delicate sensibilities?"
He rolls his eyes but goes a little red too. "I can keep my eyes averted."
"You don't have to, I don't mind," she says, turning over. She gives a good stretch, then folds her arms under her head, eyes closing again. "Why do you think she's sad?"
It takes a minute before he answers, and Serena suppresses a smile. "Uh, just a feeling, I guess," Dan says. "I wondered if she had a really bad breakup or something like that. There's not really much about her online."
"Have you been looking?" Serena says, tone teasing to cover up her mild annoyance. "She's had a few. Like everyone." When Dan doesn't answer, she opens her eyes to catch him staring, though he's trying not to be too obvious. She does smile then. "Dan?"
He starts, dropping his book, and then laughs a little, shakes his head. "Sorry," he says. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Little bit," Serena says cheekily.
The party goes off without a hitch, though Blair spends an inordinate amount of time trying not to glare darkly at Dan and Serena over her martini glass. They keep giggling together like idiot schoolchildren, like they've been doing for the past week, and it makes her want to puke. She lights a pink cigarette to complement her dark-gray-and-cream ensemble, thinking she might just do that later. It's either that or venting furiously in her diary, which is pathetic and she's been doing too much of lately anyway.
Since the night in the study, Blair has been experiencing a heretofore unknown amount of performance anxiety and outside of sniping at Dan every time they cross paths, she has yet to make any real strides with him. She's going to lose badly, she can taste it, and that is both unforgivable and infuriating.
At the other end of the room, Jenny is holding over-confident court with Nate. It seems all the exuberant lesbianism and rampant hedonism has only led to Jenny becoming more self-assured, so really nothing is going right for Blair lately. She isn't even sure Jenny's had sex with a boy yet.
It all leads to Blair downing quite a few more gin martinis than she ought to.
Blair doesn't get drunk, that's just not what she does, especially since the last time resulted in the ill-advised loss of her virginity and that's not a road Blair is ever going down again. It's easier to fake it (she fakes everything else) and keep cool, keep in control, keep poised. She has an image to maintain and getting sloppy isn't part of it.
But at this party she gets relatively sloppy anyway.
She doesn't realize how much until she gets to her feet, teetering away from the rest of the girls on unstable feet, hearing them muffle giggles. She gropes for the backs of couches and tops of tables, head swimming. Water. She needs water, and –
"Whoa there." A hand curls around her elbow and Blair automatically starts to jerk away until she looks up to see Dan's face, his brow creased with obvious concern. "You okay?"
"Perfectly fine, Humphrey," she says with irritation but then remembers she is meant to be seducing him and turns a wide smile his way instead. "I am perfectly perfect, how are you?"
He smiles a little and answers, "It seems to me you're pretty drunk."
"What powers of observation you have," Blair says, trying to take another step but weaving too much. "I imagine you don't approve at all."
"Be a little hypocritical considering how many times I've told you to lighten up," he says. "But then again, I hear I'm a hypocrite."
"You are," she agrees, "One of your many bad qualities."
He laughs again and she doesn't know why, because she's terrible at this. Blair was never very good at making people like her. Making people fear her, making people respect her, tricking people into liking the girl she pretended to be – all that she could do. But his complete and insistent personal honesty makes it strangely difficult to use her usual tricks, so she's stuck being mean to him like a grade school bully.
"Why don't I take you to bed," Dan is saying, and she realizes they are carefully walking towards the stairs. "You can sl–"
"Yes, bed!" she exclaims, latching on. The hand clutching the back of his shirt slips around his waist and she leans in close. "Take me to bed, Dan."
Dan clears his throat with an air of nervousness, eyes averted, and Blair smiles. Just as they make it to the top of the landing, where it is quieter and more private, she tilts and kisses the corner of his mouth. He inhales and pauses, holding his breath, so Blair kisses him again, this time on the mouth. He says her name quietly.
"What?" She loops her arms around his neck and kisses him on the cheek. "I thought you were taking me to bed."
"To sleep," Dan says. "You're drunk."
"I don't want to sleep," she says. "I want you to kiss me."
"I'm not going to kiss you when you're drunk," he says gently. "That's not right."
It makes Blair suddenly angry, the intensity of her anger inexplicable to her. She pulls away from him, then pushes him for good measure. "You're so moral," she sneers. "So noble. Most people don't care about things like that, you know. And we all survive."
He gives her that look he's so good at, somewhere between concerned and pitying, and she hates it. "Blair –"
"Whatever, Humphrey," she hisses. "Why don't you go find Serena?"
Dan sighs, rubbing his temples briefly. "I don't get you."
"That's obvious," Blair snaps. Her bedroom is only a few doors down and she heads for it hazily, hand outreached. "Your understanding of women is obviously limited. But that's not surprising, considering."
As her fingers close around the handle, Dan frowns and asks, "Considering what?"
"That you're an uptight, inexperienced, patronizing virgin," she says. "It's not the fifties, Humphrey. Get a grip."
And before he can work up a reply, she's gotten the door open and slammed shut behind herself, sound echoing. After ten breathless minutes, she hears another door on the landing close. Then she slips out and goes back to the party, itching to do damage.
next part
Blair, Serena, Dan, Jenny. Some others, multi-pairing.
Based on Cruel Intentions. R. 20k words.
W: nothing you don't see in the movie, but just in case: underage sex, consent shadiness, general terrible humans.
Summary: Incestuous stepsisters Blair and Serena set out to seduce poor, innocent Dan Humphrey.
previous part
Serena looks at Dan curiously as she sucks the gelato from her tiny spoon, not trying for once to be enticing. "Pretty much the last thing I expected was you calling me," she says.
Dan shrugs a little, not making eye contact. "It was brought to my attention that maybe I wasn't being entirely fair."
"How about that," Serena says with a slight smile. She gives him a little nudge with her elbow.
"And Jenny says you've been really cool to her," he says. "I appreciate that, you know. It's never meant much to me, but Jen… She really wants to fit in. She wants to make friends. I was always kind of a loner, but I think she was just lonely."
Last night Serena fingered Jenny in the grimy bathroom of a bar and then fed her so many shots she puked in the back of a cab. Real cool. "She's a great girl," Serena says and then, eager to change the subject, "So your girlfriend doesn't mind you taking me out for the afternoon?"
"I'm not taking you out," Dan says.
"Evasive," Serena accuses with a smile. "Seriously. I don't know what girl wouldn't be jealous of the likes of me." She means it playfully, mostly as a joke, and she tosses her hair and bats her eyelashes for emphasis. Dan laughs.
"Alright, well, if we're being honest," he says, "She and I broke up at the start of the summer."
"Aww," Serena says, feeling triumphant. She'd never bought that whole thing. "I'm sorry."
"You are not sorry at all," he says, but he's smiling.
"Well, no," Serena agrees. "Her loss, my gain. What happened?"
"It was that article," Dan admits. "Apparently she was not so happy about me calling her my girlfriend. She said that she doesn't like labels, I should have known better, and I wasn't respecting her boundaries. So. That put an end to that."
"Wait, she was your friend with benefits and you weren't even getting benefits? That's cold."
"There were some benefits," Dan protests, then, "Why am I even discussing this with you."
Serena grins. "I'd never complain about you calling me your girlfriend," she says, which is an out and out lie, because no one word is as likely to send her running for the hills as that one.
"Too bad we will never ever be testing that theory," he says.
"Never ever," Serena repeats contemplatively. "Those are some very definite words, Mr. Writer."
"That they are," he agrees.
"You so sure about never?"
Dan glances at her, his lips pulling into a little bit of a thoughtful pout before his mouth relaxes. "I don't mind being friends," he says finally. "Which I told you. But c'mon, we both know that whatever thing it is you're trying to start with me, it wouldn't go anywhere."
"It doesn't really have to," Serena says. "We can just have crazy wild sex until we get sick of each other."
He flushes a little, looking away. "I –"
"I know, I know," Serena sighs, disappointed. "You're not that kind of girl."
"Wanting to wait does not make me a girl."
Bluntly, Serena says, "Yes it does. I have never in my life met a guy who'd turn down no-strings hot sex because he wanted feelings. It's usually the other way around."
"I guess I'm a particular guy then," he says.
"Particularly strange," Serena says. She hooks her arm through his, leaning in to steal a scoop of his gelato. Serena wouldn't consider herself especially good at playing people, at least compared to Blair, because she just doesn't pay enough attention to find out what makes them tick. But boys are easy enough and she knows boys, could ace the SAT of boys, and the same games bring them down every time. "Is it because you don't know what to do?"
Dan gives her a mildly harassed look. "I know what to do."
She shrugs a little, leaning more heavily into his side. "I get that it could make you nervous," she says. "Not knowing."
"I know, okay, I know," Dan says. "It's not that much of a mystery."
Serena laughs. "Yeah, but it's one thing to jerk off alone in your room to porn and a totally different thing to actually be with another person."
Clearly uncomfortable but trying to hide it, Dan says wryly, "Yeah, I could've figured that one out."
"Could you?" she teases. "Have you ever even touched a girl?" Her fingers curl around his wrist, touch trailing up his forearm. "Or another boy?"
"I'm not gay," Dan murmurs.
"Could've fooled me," Serena says. "Not that there's anything wrong with it. In fact, it's pretty hot. I've done that, you know. Two guys. You must've read about it." Her fingers run up and down his arm as they walk, and she's speaking directly into his ear. "Done the other kind too. What have you done? Have you touched a girl? Did you go down on your girlfriend ¬– your non-girlfriend?"
"Ye– No. You're asking a lot of questions."
Serena smiles. "They're not exactly hard ones."
"I –" He pulls his arm from her grip suddenly. "I gotta go, my – my train's right up here, I'll – It was, uh, nice, I guess." Dan runs a hand through his hair, looks her over once without seeming to mean to, and then nods briskly before dashing off down the nearest subway steps.
So skittish, she thinks. Not like Jenny.
Blair and Dan run into each other again at a student government meeting. Blair is holding it ahead of time to get the jump on everything; Dan is shadowing because he wants to run for something. He spends the entire time slouched in the far corner of their lounge, silent except when Blair brings up one of her new plans for the year, which is when he'll lazily raise his hand and then poke holes in each and every idea. Blair becomes slowly more infuriated and it must show because all the girls start hiding smirks. She can't wait until Serena finishes this loser.
Afterwards she accosts him. "You know," she says, "I can't quite understand how someone who doesn't even attend a school yet thinks he has some say in how it's run."
"You don't run anything," Dan points out. He swings his bag up onto his shoulder and heads for the door. Rude. "All you do is pick prom colors or whatever."
Blair snatches up her purse and is at his heels. "If you think that's all it is, then why are you even here?"
Dan pauses to let her catch up to him. He gives her a slightly sarcastic smile. "I feel very strongly about gold and cream."
Blair rolls her eyes. As they step out into the sunshine, she fishes her cigarettes out of her bag and makes a point of not offering him any. She chooses a yellow to complement her blue sundress. Proving his rudeness once again, Dan reaches over to take the silver case right out of her hands, laughing. "Are you kidding me," he says. "Do you really color-coordinate your cigarettes?"
Blair grabs the case back angrily, snapping it shut. "There is no detail too small when it comes to the perfect ensemble." She thinks her mother said that in an interview once. Blair always felt that whatever Eleanor's faults, she was usually on point with fashion advice.
It's Dan's turn to roll his eyes, though he appears to be a good deal more amused than Blair is. "I guess you guys have nothing but time on your hands to come up with stuff like that." He holds out a hand. "Match me one."
Blair frowns at him, but nevertheless deftly chooses a green to offset his blue striped shirt. He leans in for a light and for some reason, perhaps just to make him uncomfortable, Blair tilts her face up and presses the tip of her cigarette to his. Their eyes meet and he doesn't even seem the slightest bit ill-at-ease, only confused. He turns a little to exhale a slow stream of smoke but his eyes remain locked with hers. Blair's breath is in her throat though she'd never admit it, something about their proximity, or knowing he has no clue that she's integral in fucking over his family, something.
Then he says, "Do you know what your sister's deal is?" and Blair swallows whatever it was she'd felt, tasting venom.
"Do you suspect everyone of ulterior motives, Humphrey?" she says, moving off down the street.
"Everyone here," he says. He must answer everything honestly, she thinks. How funny. "I don't know, it's not that I think she has ulterior motives; I just don't get it. I doubt I'm…her type or anything."
"Serena doesn't have a type," Blair says, which is fair enough; Serena will fuck anybody. "She likes you. Girl meets boy, girl likes boy. It's that simple."
"Is it?" Dan says with a little bit of a sigh.
Blair glances at him. "Is it not romantic enough for you?" she mocks. "I read your article too, you know. If you're trying to turn your life into some kind of novel, you're going to be sorely disappointed every time. Life's not fiction. It's not a movie."
"Says the girl who matches her cigarettes to her dresses," he says. His smile seems a touch more genuine this time.
"Complements her dresses," she corrects. "I'm only saying. If you're looking for a grand romance then you're not going to find it. It doesn't exist. Believe me."
He gives her a faintly curious look. "You don't believe in love?"
Blair smiles a counterfeit smile. "I learned my lesson," she says simply. It's only at the look on his face that she thinks she gave away too much; his honesty must be catching.
Back when Blair was still something of a little girl, when she still thought Nate hung the moon, she probably wasn't altogether unlike Humphrey when it came to matters like this. She'd wanted to lose her virginity on a bed strewn with rose petals and surrounded by candles on the night of their cotillion. She probably spent more time dreaming of that than anything else, even though she knew it was silly.
In those freshman days before Gossip Girl, they were all so inept at the game, so young. Blair never did learn who Nate gave it up to; he confessed without naming names. She'd been upset enough to get drunk and fuck the first guy she found, attempting to strike back vengefully – though of course Nate hadn't been jealous at all, possibly hadn't even noticed.
It had been in the back of a limo, that first time. She doesn't even remember the guy's name now and it's conceivable that she was too drunk to ask for it. That had been the only time Serena was the one to come to the rescue since, after all, she had experience in quickly regretted drunken hookups. Even at that age, Serena had been where Blair was many, many times before.
Blair had wanted so badly for it to be special, that first time and every time after. She knows now it never is. You enjoyed it if you could and used it if you must. But it's never special.
Perhaps sensing the change in her demeanor, Dan says gently, "You really could stand to lighten up, Waldorf. You're glaringly pessimistic."
"Optimism is just delusion," Blair tells him. "I'm realistic."
"Says every pessimist ever, with no sense of irony," Dan says.
"You're so naïve," she says, adding smugly, "I'm just smarter than you are."
"I can't wait to see your face when grades come in," he says and Blair smiles, telling him once again that he's deluded. But Dan ignores the insult, instead focusing on her brief flash of amusement. "So you can smile for real. I thought it was just a rumor."
Blair gives an annoyed huff. "You're not funny."
"No, I am," he says. "I'm very funny. You can laugh, you know, if you want to; I won't tell anyone."
"Laugh at what? That hideous shirt you're wearing? Certainly not your nonexistent wit."
"Physical comedy is just as valid," Dan allows with a nod, unflappably calm in the face of her zippy irritation.
Blair sort of wants to do something childish like push him, or at the very least storm off, but she finds that quite without intending to she does laugh, the sound bubbling up like champagne. "God," she says. "You're an idiot."
Dan grins at her. "But a funny one, am I right?"
"Comedy is the lowest form of entertainment," Blair informs him. "Which makes perfect sense, considering the source."
He laughs then. "You're so full of shit," he says. "It's astounding."
Blair looks at him, very aware that he has no idea just how true that statement is and suddenly not so pleased by the idea. "Have you ever been in love, Humphrey?"
He seems a little surprised by the question and then tells her, "No."
"Then it doesn't seem to me that you're informed enough to speak on it," she says. "Don't discount Serena just yet."
"Oh," he says, as if he'd forgotten. "Well. I think I'll know when the time comes."
"Or you'll spend your life waiting for something that never arrives." Blair drops her cigarette to the sidewalk and grounds it out with a sunshine yellow heel. "Green suits you," she says, giving him a last look. She does leave him then, unable to stand such insipid conversation for a minute longer.
The last month of the summer is always spent in the Hamptons and this year is no exception. Since before they were sisters, Blair and Serena have been wiling away the sticky end of summer at the house of Serena's well-meaning-if-senile-and-drunk grandmother. Blair is the one to extend a polite invitation to Jenny Humphrey, which the other girl snaps up with ease, slinking back two days later to ask if it wouldn't be okay if her brother came too? He just has all these ridiculous ideas about protecting her, it's so embarrassing, but can he?
Of course, Blair said, her expression neutral. Of course he can.
Serena is the one who drives down with Jenny, in some ridiculous sporty little car her father got her that only seats two. She'd been planning on a romantic little drive down with the brother but when Jenny arrived, touting a Disney princess sleeping bag of all things in addition to a beat-up duffle bag Blair wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, she explained that he had to come a day late because of some internship interview. Blair was already going a day later than the rest of them, so she offered to take Serena's boytoy off her hands.
"Better me than the jitney," Blair tells her. "The bathroom of that thing probably has your name and number on it."
"Alright," Serena says warily. "But don't be too much of a bitch, okay?"
Blair smiles. "I'll be utterly charming. He'll leave that car thinking you're the one who put the sun in the sky."
But when Blair and Dan arrive together, him stepping out of the town car first and giving Blair his hand, Serena isn't so sure. He has that usual look of wry entertainment but there's something hesitant in his smile, vulnerable almost. Amusement sparks in Blair's eyes, but otherwise her expression is so locked-down that it must mean she's hiding something.
Serena thinks she understands now why Blair suddenly decided to be so helpful about Dan. She should have been more suspicious from the start; the idea that Blair would ever let her win anything is laughable. Of course, Blair never intended for her to win at all. Blair's been undermining her instead.
Serena's eyes narrow as they walk up the path together, Dan saying something that makes Blair smile. Two can play at that.
Serena tousles her hair in the mirror, twisting strands this way and that, fixes it and musses it, digs through her products, curling iron hot and at the ready. Normally she's not one to put all that much effort into it and she doesn't understand why she's being so fussy, why she even cares what Dan thinks or what Dan likes. She's just getting it right when Jenny drops onto the bench beside her, beaming, and slides her fingers into Serena's hair. Her other hand curves over Serena's thigh.
"You look so pretty," Jenny says, and she's leaning in, lips pink and glossy.
Serena, however, is having none of it. She hadn't anticipated Jenny being more than a one-off, but she's having difficulty shaking her. She dodges the kiss, hopping up. "Why don't you go out and have some fun, huh, Jenny? Get some ice cream or something."
"I thought we could have some fun," Jenny says. She pouts a little, her eyes wide and appealing. She learned fast, that one.
Serena's eyes are on herself in the mirror, adjusting the way her top falls and the line of her lipgloss. "Some other time."
Ignoring Jenny's disappointment, Serena heads for the door – but not before casting one final look in the mirror. Her goal is Dan, but she finds Blair first. She's in the study that overlooks the backyard, peering through the curtains.
"I think you turned Jenny into a lesbian by mistake," Serena says by way of a greeting. "Which is probably just as good."
Blair glances at her, twitching the curtains closed. A sly smile graces her lips. "Don't give me all the credit. You're the one who's just too good with her tongue."
"Not like you'd know," Serena points out. Then, "What're you looking at?" She crosses to Blair and pushes the curtains aside widely, sunlight pouring into the room. There on the grounds, back against a tree, is Dan. He's absorbed in a book, absolutely engrossed, his troubled expression mirroring whatever's happening on the page. Serena looks from him to Blair and laughs. "Do you have a thing for him now too?"
Blair makes a gagging sound. "I was just looking out the window, Serena; not everything has a double meaning."
"With you it does," Serena says. "Look. I know you're up to something." Blair's face betrays nothing, not even a hint of interest. "Whatever it is, I want you to know it's not going to work."
Haughtily, Blair says, "I have no idea what you're on about."
"Yes you do," Serena says. She reaches out, fingers slipping between the buttons of Blair's blouse to find the rough lace of her bra and the warmth of her skin. "I want you to know that I'm going to win. And then we're finally going to finish this."
Blair doesn't enjoy being so openly challenged, or at least likes to pretend that she doesn't; her lip curls. "You can try," she says.
Serena smiles. The first few buttons of Blair's top become undone between her fingers and she revels in Blair's slight intake of breath. "I'll take you up on that," Serena says.
In the matter of a few minutes, Serena is outside, dropping down onto the grass beside Dan. He glances up at her with a smile before returning his attention to the book; once he finishes the page, he marks his place and closes it. "Hello there," he says.
"Hi." Serena gestures him closer and he leans in obligingly, though his lips part in mild surprise when she pushes up onto her elbows and kisses his cheeks, one and then the other. The smile on his face curls so sweetly that she kisses that too, her mouth insistent against his. There's only a half-breath's pause before he responds. Her arm curls around his neck, pulling him down, and Dan's hand settles high on her ribs, a finger brushing bare skin where her crop top ends.
Neither of them are looking so neither of them see the curtains shift closed in the window of the study that overlooks the grounds.
And then Dan pulls away and sits up again, turning away.
"What?" Serena says, a little impatient. Things had finally started to go well for once. "What is it?"
Dan's brow is furrowed and he gives her a wry, helpless look. "I don't know," he says. "This whole thing is really confusing."
"It's actually not, though," she says. She wriggles down a little and lets her top ride up tantalizingly, but Dan doesn't take the bait, instead reaching over to tug her shirt down with pink cheeks. That makes her angry. "You know what? I don't get it. Are you fucking with me? Is this some kind of game you're playing to – I don't know, to make me feel bad because you don't approve of my past? Because you think I'm a –"
"What?" Dan stares at her like she's flat-out crazy. Such mental gymnastics would probably never even occur to him. "No. No, this has nothing to do with you. It's me."
Serena rolls her eyes. "It's not you, it's me," she mocks. "How original."
Dan takes a breath. "Look, I like you. I think you're beautiful. But I don't trust myself around you. I don't trust myself in your world. I'm just trying to get through high school unscathed and go to a good college. That's all I want. I don't want to get wrapped up in all – in all this."
"I don't get you," she snaps. "If you really think that, then why are you here? Why did you call me the other day? Why are you hanging out with Blair?"
Chastised, he looks away again. "I don't know," he says.
"Try and figure it out," Serena says, annoyed, and gets to her feet, taking off in a huff.
Blair eschews breakfast and gets a massage instead, though she's too tense and irritable to really enjoy it. Neither Serena nor Dan had showed up for dinner the night before, so Blair had been forced to spend half the night pretending to listen to Jenny's inane prattling while she replayed that kiss every time she blinked. Blair doesn't know what's bothering her. It's not like she didn't know what was going on – it was the whole point of their bet, for crying out loud. Perhaps she's disappointed in Dan for giving in to a pretty blonde so easily despite his grand proclamations of moral superiority. Perhaps she's just bored by all of this.
The door clicks open and Serena swans in with sex-mussed hair, dismissing the masseuse cheerfully. Blair frowns, pushing up into a seated position and draping the sheet around herself. Disgruntled, she says, "You're cheerful this morning. I suppose you’ve come to make arrangements."
Serena runs a hand down the length of Blair's bare back as she passes. She drops into the armchair facing Blair, legs kicked up over the side, shoes off. She's got a lollipop in one hand, shiny red against her pink mouth. "Arrangements?"
"Collecting your prize," Blair explains with a bit of an annoyed huff.
Serena arches an eyebrow. "I didn't win yet."
Blair narrows her eyes. "You didn't?"
Serena gives a little bit of a sigh and stretches in the chair, rearranging herself with both legs folded up Indian-style. "Dan's so uptight," she says. "I don't know what else to do with him."
Blair straightens. The thrill of triumph threatens to race up her back. "So you're forfeiting."
"I never said that," Serena says. "I've just been thinking…" She sucks on the lollipop for a thoughtful moment. "I'm not having much fun. Are you?"
Blair looks at her curiously. "I can't say I am, no."
"So why stick to the same old program?" Serena says. "Let's change it up. This is about having fun."
Blair's lips purse slightly and she tucks her legs up on the table, a tendril of hair escaping her pins to trail gracefully along her shoulder. She does not correct Serena, though she wants to; this isn't about fun, it's about control. "What do you mean?"
"Let's readjust the bet. Instead of me doing all the work, how about…" Her eyes meet Blair's, blue and open and somehow inscrutable all the same. "The first one to get him wins. Stakes are the same, but the game's more complex." Her eyebrow lifts and a small smile curves her mouth. "We've always been rivals for a reason, right?"
Usually that word is unspoken between them, a label slapped on by the other girls or by Gossip Girl but not addressed by either Blair or Serena. They prefer terms like best friend, sister, soulmate, or even frenemy on occasion. Rival has an altogether different taste. They always have been rivals. They have always been rivals for a reason and that reason is that no one else is half as fun to compete against, or half as difficult, Blair's dogged pursuit of her goals versus Serena's seemingly effortless side-steps into good luck. But their tools are the same even if they use them differently and they’ve been beating each other to the same finish lines since infancy, so why stop now?
"Isn't Dan getting in your way at school, anyway?" Serena goads, seeing Blair remains unconvinced. "He's probably the only person there who might be smarter than you."
"Oh please," Blair scoffs.
"Well, he'll try to be, anyway," Serena says. "Come on." Her eyes almost seem to sparkle, deeply blue and darkly mischievous. "Why destroy one Humphrey when you can destroy them both? Isn't that what you said to me when we started this?"
Blair is silent, considering. Her heart flutters madly in her chest, not that it would be visible or obvious to anyone on the outside. The Humphreys have been a thorn in her side ever since their first appearance, and despite the odd feeling of something akin to friendship that Dan has inspired in her, Blair would be much happier with them ruined and gone. Out of her way. Unable to affect her.
"Yes," she says finally, looking back at Serena. "Yes, I think those terms will be acceptable."
Dan is in the study in a green leather chair beside the window, a floor lamp casting a pool of light around him that looks almost staged. The world outside the window is impenetrably dark. Dan has one book open in his hand and two more stacked in his lap.
"Do you have any other hobbies?" Blair asks. She shuts the door behind her and leans against it, arching an eyebrow at him as her lips curve up at the corner. "Maybe you could take up something besides reading and bothering socialites. I've heard hiking is quite invigorating."
He shuts the book and sits up. "I like to swim," he offers.
"Ah. I have heard that." Blair walks towards him with a little sashay in her hips, demonstrating an astonishing lack of subtlety that would embarrass her normally. Her only excuse is that she's so pressed for time, so intent upon beating Serena. It's exciting, the competition; Blair loved to compete, especially against someone who could beat her, because it always made the winning sweeter. It also made the losing worse.
She's wearing a short black dress, bare legs, collarbones and cleavage. Dan's gaze drags up over her legs before he looks at her face and she likes to think that she doesn't imagine his throat working in a swallow.
"Anyway," Dan says, his eyes on hers now. "Bothering socialites was never really my plan."
"An unexpected talent," Blair says. "You're terribly good at it."
"Am I?" he asks.
Blair leans back against the large desk across from him, crossing her legs at the ankle. "You're driving Serena crazy. She gets bored so easily, so you're actually doing a very good job if you're trying to rope her in for long haul."
"I'm not trying to do anything," Dan says. "Except have a decent summer."
"I'm just trying to have a decent summer," Blair says mockingly, a smile curving her lips. "Everyone's got some kind of plan, whether they admit it or not."
"Is that so?" Dan slouches back in his seat, posture becoming relaxed and oddly sexy, and tilts his head. "What's your plan?"
She smiles enigmatically, evades it. "Are you really just here to have a pleasant summer?"
Dan glances away, seeming to fight a smile, before he looks at her. "Are you really just here to talk up Serena?"
Blair bites her lip. "No," she admits.
"No," Dan agrees. He sets his books aside to join her at the desk, leaning beside her companionably.
"You're a real hypocrite, you know," she murmurs. "You say you want to wait for love, but then you turn your back as soon as you get close to finding it." Their eyes meet in a sidelong glance and she adds, "With Serena, I mean."
"It's all kind of freaking me out," Dan admits. "Serena's got a lot more experience than I do."
"Don't worry," Blair says. "She probably doesn't remember most of it."
He starts to reply but seems too taken aback by that, lips parted and brow furrowed. Finally, he says, "See, that's part of it. That's not a normal thing to say. You guys are all so nonchalant about things like that."
"You have an awful way with words for a writer," Blair tells him. "There's nothing to be afraid of. It won't get you anywhere in life." Blair looks at him again and finds herself tilting closer. "If you want to kiss a girl then you ought to kiss her. If she wants to go to bed with you, then you ought to take her at her word."
"I ought to, huh," he muses. She does not imagine the flicker of his gaze to her lips. She presses them together briefly, wets them.
"Don't be scared," she says. "I don't bite."
"Not even figuratively?" he says.
"Not unless you ask me to," Blair says and gives up on subtlety altogether, presses her lips to Dan Humphrey's. His part automatically, as though he is ever-surprised by the idea that someone would kiss him.
Blair is embarrassed by how quickly her hand comes up to touch him, not gripping or grasping but just resting, palm against the warmth of his cotton t-shirt. Her fingertips just barely brush his throat. He is a better kisser than she would have taken him for, careful and gentle but with something beneath it, a promise of passion.
"That's the thing," he muses softly, his eyes still closed and mouth so close to hers, "About Serena. I like her a lot, but…the way you make me feel –"
Blair cuts him off with another kiss, unprepared for words of that nature right now when she's just trying to cross a finish line. She curls both arms around his neck and hops back onto the desk, kissing him like it's something she really means – and the terrifying part is that maybe it is. His hands are on her hips, ribs, breasts, waist, he kisses her like he absolutely means to do nothing else, possible ever.
And, breathless, Blair suddenly feels – suddenly feels.
"Excuse me," she breathes, pushing him away. To his credit, he immediately backs off. "Excuse me, I just –" But she doesn't even have it within her to work up a lie, she just rushes for the door she came in through, looking like a fool. She's a complete fool.
His mouth had been red, flushed, and he'd let her go with every muscle tense like he wanted to follow.
In between bouts of fucking and evading Jenny – who is such a quick study that she's become stunningly proficient at eating Serena out, so efficient Serena can't possibly turn her down all the time, and anyway she needs someone to release her tension – Serena sidles up to Dan some more. He apologized for kissing her and then shutting her down, though his phrasing had been much more delicate and surprisingly earnest, in a way that warmed Serena, a little. But he hadn't tried to kiss her again, and she certainly wasn't setting herself up for rejection yet again. She could do other things instead.
After he said his sheepish sorry, Serena only stuck out a hand. "Friends?" she asked, face crinkling with a smile sweet as his, just as innocent.
"Friends," he'd agreed, relieved, and they shook on it. Dan is the kind of guy who means what he says and therefore takes other people at their word, so that simple exchange had freed her up for a lot of flirtatious behavior that he would feel too good-natured to call her out on.
She steals his books and entices him to chase her, involves him in friendly tumbles in the grass to get them back. She splashes him in pools, loses her top by apparent accident in the ocean. She curls up against him to watch TV at night, arm through his and fingers intertwined. She is such a good friend.
The weird part is that Dan is kind of fun in his not-fun way, low-key and quietly sarcastic. She'd like to pull him over to her side of the divide, get him messy and drunk and high and hear his poetry then, mumbled against her mouth or between her legs.
And their growing closeness is obviously driving Blair crazy, though it only shows in her sharp quips and pursed lips. She's also become consumed with planning a party for that weekend to the exclusion of all else, so if she's working on her own to seduce Dan, Serena can see no sign of it.
But once, sitting outside on a blanket, Dan reading and Serena on her stomach getting a tan with her bikini untied, he asks, "So what's your sister's deal?"
"What do you mean?" Serena peers at him, eyes screwed up against sunlight, and is rewarded by the way his gaze travels briefly over her naked back.
"I don't know." Very purposefully, he focuses on the pages of his book. "I've just gotten the impression that she's kind of…sad about something. Like, underneath all the bitching, she's just really sad."
Serena snorts. "I guess that's a word for it," she says. "Can I turn over or will it offend your delicate sensibilities?"
He rolls his eyes but goes a little red too. "I can keep my eyes averted."
"You don't have to, I don't mind," she says, turning over. She gives a good stretch, then folds her arms under her head, eyes closing again. "Why do you think she's sad?"
It takes a minute before he answers, and Serena suppresses a smile. "Uh, just a feeling, I guess," Dan says. "I wondered if she had a really bad breakup or something like that. There's not really much about her online."
"Have you been looking?" Serena says, tone teasing to cover up her mild annoyance. "She's had a few. Like everyone." When Dan doesn't answer, she opens her eyes to catch him staring, though he's trying not to be too obvious. She does smile then. "Dan?"
He starts, dropping his book, and then laughs a little, shakes his head. "Sorry," he says. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Little bit," Serena says cheekily.
The party goes off without a hitch, though Blair spends an inordinate amount of time trying not to glare darkly at Dan and Serena over her martini glass. They keep giggling together like idiot schoolchildren, like they've been doing for the past week, and it makes her want to puke. She lights a pink cigarette to complement her dark-gray-and-cream ensemble, thinking she might just do that later. It's either that or venting furiously in her diary, which is pathetic and she's been doing too much of lately anyway.
Since the night in the study, Blair has been experiencing a heretofore unknown amount of performance anxiety and outside of sniping at Dan every time they cross paths, she has yet to make any real strides with him. She's going to lose badly, she can taste it, and that is both unforgivable and infuriating.
At the other end of the room, Jenny is holding over-confident court with Nate. It seems all the exuberant lesbianism and rampant hedonism has only led to Jenny becoming more self-assured, so really nothing is going right for Blair lately. She isn't even sure Jenny's had sex with a boy yet.
It all leads to Blair downing quite a few more gin martinis than she ought to.
Blair doesn't get drunk, that's just not what she does, especially since the last time resulted in the ill-advised loss of her virginity and that's not a road Blair is ever going down again. It's easier to fake it (she fakes everything else) and keep cool, keep in control, keep poised. She has an image to maintain and getting sloppy isn't part of it.
But at this party she gets relatively sloppy anyway.
She doesn't realize how much until she gets to her feet, teetering away from the rest of the girls on unstable feet, hearing them muffle giggles. She gropes for the backs of couches and tops of tables, head swimming. Water. She needs water, and –
"Whoa there." A hand curls around her elbow and Blair automatically starts to jerk away until she looks up to see Dan's face, his brow creased with obvious concern. "You okay?"
"Perfectly fine, Humphrey," she says with irritation but then remembers she is meant to be seducing him and turns a wide smile his way instead. "I am perfectly perfect, how are you?"
He smiles a little and answers, "It seems to me you're pretty drunk."
"What powers of observation you have," Blair says, trying to take another step but weaving too much. "I imagine you don't approve at all."
"Be a little hypocritical considering how many times I've told you to lighten up," he says. "But then again, I hear I'm a hypocrite."
"You are," she agrees, "One of your many bad qualities."
He laughs again and she doesn't know why, because she's terrible at this. Blair was never very good at making people like her. Making people fear her, making people respect her, tricking people into liking the girl she pretended to be – all that she could do. But his complete and insistent personal honesty makes it strangely difficult to use her usual tricks, so she's stuck being mean to him like a grade school bully.
"Why don't I take you to bed," Dan is saying, and she realizes they are carefully walking towards the stairs. "You can sl–"
"Yes, bed!" she exclaims, latching on. The hand clutching the back of his shirt slips around his waist and she leans in close. "Take me to bed, Dan."
Dan clears his throat with an air of nervousness, eyes averted, and Blair smiles. Just as they make it to the top of the landing, where it is quieter and more private, she tilts and kisses the corner of his mouth. He inhales and pauses, holding his breath, so Blair kisses him again, this time on the mouth. He says her name quietly.
"What?" She loops her arms around his neck and kisses him on the cheek. "I thought you were taking me to bed."
"To sleep," Dan says. "You're drunk."
"I don't want to sleep," she says. "I want you to kiss me."
"I'm not going to kiss you when you're drunk," he says gently. "That's not right."
It makes Blair suddenly angry, the intensity of her anger inexplicable to her. She pulls away from him, then pushes him for good measure. "You're so moral," she sneers. "So noble. Most people don't care about things like that, you know. And we all survive."
He gives her that look he's so good at, somewhere between concerned and pitying, and she hates it. "Blair –"
"Whatever, Humphrey," she hisses. "Why don't you go find Serena?"
Dan sighs, rubbing his temples briefly. "I don't get you."
"That's obvious," Blair snaps. Her bedroom is only a few doors down and she heads for it hazily, hand outreached. "Your understanding of women is obviously limited. But that's not surprising, considering."
As her fingers close around the handle, Dan frowns and asks, "Considering what?"
"That you're an uptight, inexperienced, patronizing virgin," she says. "It's not the fifties, Humphrey. Get a grip."
And before he can work up a reply, she's gotten the door open and slammed shut behind herself, sound echoing. After ten breathless minutes, she hears another door on the landing close. Then she slips out and goes back to the party, itching to do damage.
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