five ways to stay alive
619 words. PG.
Margot/Richie + Chas, because who doesn't love Chas.
W: past suicide attempt, wounds remaining from it.
Summary: They move into the studio in Mockingbird Heights, under the names Helen and Alfred Scott. They will always have the same name, even when Margot is married.
Note: Originally posted here.
1.
His wrists take a long time to heal. The wounds are deep and true, splitting his forearms into grisly striped flesh, pale skin between crunchy scabs. Margot is the one to take out the stitches, cigarette in one hand while the other carefully snips and plucks away loose medical thread.
"I think you'll be alright," she says.
2.
Since Richie told their father, he and Margot are the kind of secret that isn't. Not everyone is as accepting as Royal.
"I think it's sick," Chas says decisively but his distress is palpable and Richie doesn't begrudge him much, especially considering his dog was just turned into a pancake.
"How…How exactly did this start?" Etheline tries, hands folded and head cocked in motherly yearning to understand.
Richie doesn't say anything. He puts on his shades.
"Je suis fatigué," says Margot. She exhales smoke.
3.
They move into the studio in Mockingbird Heights, under the names Helen and Alfred Scott. They will always have the same name, even when Margot is married. Their mother assures them they are always welcome in the house on Archer Avenue, and she's contacted a counselor just in case they've changed their minds about that.
Margot touches the scars on Richie's forearms. She kisses his hands. She wears a skin-toned slip inside the apartment and they sleep together tucked in the old sleeping bag.
"You know you were always the only one I could stand." Her hand is on his chest, fingertips gently tapping.
"You love Chas," he says.
Margot sighs. "Yes," she says. "I love Chas."
4.
Margot disappears one day, leaving behind a note in her black, all-caps scrawl. The only flourish is on the M in her name.
I'm so sorry, she wrote. I'm going to Paris.
Eli is still in rehab so Richie moves in with Chas and Ari and Uzi. The boys sit on either side of him during every meal and spout an unceasing flow of information, what they did in lessons, what they did with Pappy, what kids in school had to say and what they learned. Richie offers brief, noncommittal reactions, like, "American History was my favorite too," or "Yeah, I wasn't much good at kick ball."
Afterwards sometimes he and Chas will stand out on the balcony.
"I guess I always knew," Chas says.
Richie shrugs.
"You're still my brother," Chas says. "Margot is still my sister."
Richie looks at him, waiting.
"I still love you both," he says.
5.
Richie is asleep in the sleeping bag patterned with horses that they took to the museum, laying on the floor of the apartment in Mockingbird Heights.
Every so often he takes a break from the boys.
There's another reason for it too, but Richie isn't going to say it.
She returns eventually, laying down beside him still in her coat and shoes and gloves, the door open and her suitcases dropped unceremoniously. She tucks her head against his neck. It has been a year.
"Wake up, Alfred," she says.
Richie pushes his sunglasses up. "You're back," he says.
Margot is studying him in that impassive way of hers. She hasn't changed. His hair is growing back and he has a beard again. He wonders if she likes it.
"I saw you everywhere," she says.
"I know," Richie says. Margot is wherever he goes.
"I thought –" she says. "I don't know what I thought."
He went away for a year and it only got worse.
"I'm glad you're home," he says.
Margot nods just slightly and presses closer to him, seems to release a breath she'd been holding when he wraps an arm around her back. "I'm glad too," she says.
619 words. PG.
Margot/Richie + Chas, because who doesn't love Chas.
W: past suicide attempt, wounds remaining from it.
Summary: They move into the studio in Mockingbird Heights, under the names Helen and Alfred Scott. They will always have the same name, even when Margot is married.
Note: Originally posted here.
1.
His wrists take a long time to heal. The wounds are deep and true, splitting his forearms into grisly striped flesh, pale skin between crunchy scabs. Margot is the one to take out the stitches, cigarette in one hand while the other carefully snips and plucks away loose medical thread.
"I think you'll be alright," she says.
2.
Since Richie told their father, he and Margot are the kind of secret that isn't. Not everyone is as accepting as Royal.
"I think it's sick," Chas says decisively but his distress is palpable and Richie doesn't begrudge him much, especially considering his dog was just turned into a pancake.
"How…How exactly did this start?" Etheline tries, hands folded and head cocked in motherly yearning to understand.
Richie doesn't say anything. He puts on his shades.
"Je suis fatigué," says Margot. She exhales smoke.
3.
They move into the studio in Mockingbird Heights, under the names Helen and Alfred Scott. They will always have the same name, even when Margot is married. Their mother assures them they are always welcome in the house on Archer Avenue, and she's contacted a counselor just in case they've changed their minds about that.
Margot touches the scars on Richie's forearms. She kisses his hands. She wears a skin-toned slip inside the apartment and they sleep together tucked in the old sleeping bag.
"You know you were always the only one I could stand." Her hand is on his chest, fingertips gently tapping.
"You love Chas," he says.
Margot sighs. "Yes," she says. "I love Chas."
4.
Margot disappears one day, leaving behind a note in her black, all-caps scrawl. The only flourish is on the M in her name.
I'm so sorry, she wrote. I'm going to Paris.
Eli is still in rehab so Richie moves in with Chas and Ari and Uzi. The boys sit on either side of him during every meal and spout an unceasing flow of information, what they did in lessons, what they did with Pappy, what kids in school had to say and what they learned. Richie offers brief, noncommittal reactions, like, "American History was my favorite too," or "Yeah, I wasn't much good at kick ball."
Afterwards sometimes he and Chas will stand out on the balcony.
"I guess I always knew," Chas says.
Richie shrugs.
"You're still my brother," Chas says. "Margot is still my sister."
Richie looks at him, waiting.
"I still love you both," he says.
5.
Richie is asleep in the sleeping bag patterned with horses that they took to the museum, laying on the floor of the apartment in Mockingbird Heights.
Every so often he takes a break from the boys.
There's another reason for it too, but Richie isn't going to say it.
She returns eventually, laying down beside him still in her coat and shoes and gloves, the door open and her suitcases dropped unceremoniously. She tucks her head against his neck. It has been a year.
"Wake up, Alfred," she says.
Richie pushes his sunglasses up. "You're back," he says.
Margot is studying him in that impassive way of hers. She hasn't changed. His hair is growing back and he has a beard again. He wonders if she likes it.
"I saw you everywhere," she says.
"I know," Richie says. Margot is wherever he goes.
"I thought –" she says. "I don't know what I thought."
He went away for a year and it only got worse.
"I'm glad you're home," he says.
Margot nods just slightly and presses closer to him, seems to release a breath she'd been holding when he wraps an arm around her back. "I'm glad too," she says.